The Strings That Bind

I have reached
the stage in my life
where I know
more
of friends dying
than
of friends giving
birth;
of friends' parents dying,
and neighbors,
and classmates,
and friends' wives and husbands passing.
I want to say let's celebrate and protect every precious life
but there is a sadness every time I see
an image of  the surviving relatives' solemn and quiet portraits.
My heart gets heavy.
Yet somehow I think of how it was like
when my parents passed away and then my sister Leah.
We were  devastated and heartbroken.
No one knew how much because life continues.
We take care of things and others.
So we celebrate life.
Our bodies and souls have invisible connections
to the not yet born,
the living,
the dying
and the dead.
We are like a ball with many strings
attached to other balls and their strings,
eagerly tangled, auspiciously entangled.
Others we cut because they pull us down
to misery for no favorable reason,
or sensible outcome;
the cord has become discord.
From those, we move on
and don't look back;
for there are many more strings
that hold us in a wonderful, desirable state
we strive for and work so hard to be.
There are many more connections
to make in our journey.
I am ball sometimes at rest,
frequently bouncing, rolling
eagerly,
tenderly,
gingerly,
so as not to fray and cut
those shimmering,
fluttering,
delicate,
yet strong strings that
are held
by love
in many stages
that surpass
the boundaries of
life and death.
And I see another string...

My condolences to the families of my elementary school classmate Shirley, my brother's classmate Josephine and our family friend and my late sister's law partner Juanito. May God bless your families. Rest in peace. As for you my dearest Juanito, I like what my friend Steve Elsaesser wrote: "Since there are probably not many lawyers in heaven, "King and Adorio" should be a busy, BUSY office up there... :)

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Happy Birthday To My Beloved Sister Freah!!!

Movie Snap, Libertad Baybay. Pen and ink on 14"x17" Paris paper.

Happy Birthday, Inday Freah. Tsup!

This was my childhood paradise:

This is an illustration of my childhood universe - halcyon days to a child. This is Movie Snap at Libertad Baybay in Bacolod City. The place was named after my father's photography studio. I was born in this house, four years after my older sister Freah was born on the same day. The first ten years of my life gave me the happiest childhood ever imaginable, growing up with my five sisters and two brothers. When I was ten years old, we moved to the suburbs. The old neighborhood was demolished including our houses. We just rented the land and the owner sold it to an automotive shop owner. Most recently is has become another neighborhood, very crowded and unlike the one we had, the children do not have a field and a  paved driveway where they could play. I practically stayed outside from morning until dusk, even played in the rain with my friends. Sometimes, with our parents and older brothers and sisters, we would play after supper until we were ready to turn in for the night. Although it was a private driveway, there was a convenient street light in the middle of our playground. We played so many games. To a child it was a playground paradise where we invented games requiring physical skill, dexterity, logic, and strategy. We faced our bullies and handled them without adult mediation. Today, my childhood friends and I are still friends, connecting through social media. From such a humble place, it is comforting to know we all turned out fine. Those games must have taught us a lesson or two. :)

Clockwise from far left: playing with strung live beetles, Hampang sa balas (Playing in sand), confronting the bully, Tuhog-tuhog (hooking rubber bands burried in sand, Sakaanay sa kahoy (tree climbing while my sister do chores), Palupad Burador (Flying kites), playing with stilts, Sorbete (buying street ice cream),  Bug-oy (playing with cowrie shells), pedal skate racing, burobaruto (playing with paper boats), Holen (hole-in) a marble game, 

Clockwise from far left: Pulopahuway (lazing in the heat), even the dog is hot, pitik-anay lastico (another rubber band game), damang (playing with spiders), hiding in the garden from my family, jump rope, rope jumping with friends (there are Ilonggo terms for these which I have forgotten), tiange-tiange(store) and checkers, taksi (playing with bottle caps - this was considered a gambling game by adults :), kick (I talked about it here), taguanay (hide and seek - these had many variations including "under the sea kingdom), sometimes I just wanted to play alone with my homemade pedal skate.

Clockwise from far left:  (bicycle - which is really a tricycle), climbing trees and lazing around, tubiganay - don't think there is an English equivalent for this game, piko (hopscotch), man-og man-og (literally translates to snake-snake but this is snap-the-whip), in the middle is pikyaw - there is no English equivalent for this game, three girls play "bagul" a game requiring difficult maneuvers using rubber slippers, stepping on "huya-huya" (shy-shy) a plant (Mimosa pudica) that closes when touched, shot-bong (hitting the can with a flat rock, the quiet games (playing store, checkers, playing with dolls, jackstones and cars), playing with Hammer - the dog, chalk art.

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Voyage

Voyage. Journey. In progress. Do not let the checkered path stop or hinder you. Turn every adventure to a memorable adornment in your glorious and productive life. Let every block be a memory filled with gratitude and celebration. There is a time for sorrow and a time for joy. Let love soothe the former and multiply the latter.

Where are you going? Are you in a place where you thought you would be? When you started your voyage, did you know where you wanted to go? Do you like or accept the place where you are now? Why? Why not?

So many questions.

When I think of the present, I think of where I started and where I have been. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I think this way, there are songs that play in my head, like Gordon Lightfoot’s “Beautiful” or Frank Sinatra singing "What Are You Doing For The Rest Of Your Life." Then in my mind there is a parade of people's faces to whom the songs apply. My heart softens and my mind recoils in tenderness.

My dearest mother and father come to mind everyday. Everyday to them, I offer my devotion and gratitude and to my sister Leah whose beautiful and exemplary life was cut short a few years ago but continues to inspire me everyday to do my best and make me check myself to be steadfast, brave, just and kind when the competition and struggle heat up. 

Mother's Day.

On Mother's Day, do not celebrate because you are a mother, instead give your children a reason to celebrate because they have a good mother. My mother is the reason why I celebrate this day. She was a most wonderful mother, the best God gave me and my brothers and sisters. She loved my father very much and he loved her the same if not more. My heart is filled with gratitude. 

I am happy.

Sometimes I have tears in my eyes because I am happy. I am happy because I love those I love and am loved by those who love me. I believe in angels. Some are living angels. I am surrounded by good people, gifted with a best friend and showered with gentle and kind acquaintances.

Unaffordable Care Act. On the left, top figure is my bi-weekly payment for my family's health and dental insurance. The bottom figure is the total cost. My mouth hurts. It is very painful. I had oral surgery, then a dental procedure. The other day, while I was brushing the unaffected area, I forgot about my surgery and accidentally ran my electric toothbrush on the surgical area. I cried and knelt in pain. I have six stitches in my mouth. My dentist is excellent, my teeth not so much, they are weak but throughout the years, she has done her best to give me a beautiful smile. Thank you.

I miss eating regular foods, especially salads. I am hoping I will lose weight but that would be a fat chance!

I attended memorial service for a friend who died last week. She was the executive who hired me as the first nurse in information systems department when we started our electronic medical record in 1992. I am grateful that our paths crossed. I also heard the devastating news that another friend of mine died suddenly last January. That's all I heard. For 5 years Heather and I spent every summer afternoon teaching our kids to swim and watching them grow up together. She was only 46. Rest in peace, my friend.

My children do not realize what and how much they do and achieve throughout their lives since birth, no matter how ordinary it may seem to them,  affect me tremendously. I am their ardent and ever faithful supporter and cheerleader. I also happen to be quick, loud and blunt when I know something will end up in pain. As they get older the latter becomes less effective. They are both headstrong and eloquent with their arguments and want to make their own way. I cried with joy when they walked and ran as babies before age one, when they started talking and enunciating and articulating words so early and clearly, how precocious they were, when they left home on their first day of school, when they graduated from pre-school and kindergarten. I was so relieved when my son graduated from high school after going through such challenging teenage years, that was an adventure, and sad that he did not want to attend the ceremony. He has matured and does his best to make me happy. I am so proud of him. His sister does not want to make a big deal with her graduation either. I had to demand that she purchase the announcements. She complained about the costs. She said that everyone who matters already know so there is no point in sending them an announcement. I am being selfish, I do not want to be deprived of this parental privilege again. She relented. 

The other night when my daughter came out of her bedroom in her prom gown she was so radiant and beautiful. I wanted to cry and I felt a pang of sadness that she and her brother grew up far away from my sisters and brothers, not knowing their Lolo and Lola well. Soon she will graduate from high school, with honors. She asked for $10.00 to pay for the stole and cord that will identify her as a member of the National Honor Society. She has brought so much honor to her school through Science Fair, University Interscholastic League competitions in Choir, Drama and especially in Journalism. I am so happy for and so proud of her. Everyday I have the best Mother's Day presents with me. 

I always expected my children to do well in school. I was not the most diligent student when I was young. I always did the minimum to be on the top 10. Watching my daughter's self drive and desire for excellence taught me a lot about her. I am in awe at her constancy and maturity. Once I helped her with a math homework when she was in grade school, she received the lowest score she has ever received in her schooling. She asked me never to help her with a math homework again. School is very competitive. The differences among the top 1% is a matter of a hundredth of points. It is a good thing the girls are all friends. 

I thank God for giving me good children, a most loving husband, a good family through birth and marriage, for surrounding me with good people at work and friends who are kind. My throat and my surgical site in my mouth hurt like hell from crying. I am so happy. I love my family and friends. I love being a mother and wife. Most of all I love my mother so much and I am forever grateful.

God is good. Thank you.

However, college expenses are going to make me impecunious.

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Step By Step, Little By Little and Love

I found a pen, ink and paper combination 

that feels like drawing with pencil. 

So smooth, 

so airy, 

just like feather. 

This is part of a drawing I started today for IF's "Prehistoric". 

Yeah, baby! 

I want to talk about love, 

but then I will find myself rambling.

Love is overwhelming,

as overwhelming as the fullness I feel in my heart as if my chest will explode,

or the lump in my throat that makes it hard to breathe.

I am in love.

Wonder what my oxygen saturation will be if one measured it while I find it hard to breathe,

but then again,

I take a deep breath to relieve the fullness of my chest,

so it evens the oxygen level and gets rid of the carbon dioxide.

Today is my eldest sister's birthday.

That makes me very happy.

I love my sister very much.

Today is my father's thirteenth year death anniversary.

Two days from now,

will be my sister Leah's third year death anniversary.

The latter two makes me sad.

Such is life.

I love my family very much.

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Goodbye, Snowflake, The Soft And Gentle.

Snowflake, The Soft and Gentle

November 22, 2005 - January 5, 2014

Rest in peace, Snowflake. Thank you for coming into our lives. Thank you for teaching us to love even more.

Amen.

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Whenever...

My Favorite Things

Oil on 30"x40" canvas

Dear friends,

I have not really been here for a long time. Seems I have been publishing reflex posts. Life has been hectic. This weekend I am packing my bags again. It isn't so much that I have neglected what I love to do but there are more important things than painting and drawing. I have not painted, drawn, squiggled or doodled in months. Surprisingly, I don't miss those activities. Maybe I will try a little acorn now and then. My rhinos are waiting, but I must once again prioritize and focus on what is more important. Ah, life! Thank you for your visits. I read your comments and messages. I appreciate them wholeheartedly, and no, I am not ignoring them. I shall reply and I shall return. God bless you and your loved ones.

Sincerely,

Ces

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My Brother

My Brother, The Mathematics Professor. 2012. Pen and ink on 9"x12" Bristol Board

This is an old drawing. I wanted to repost this because I read this article today. It is about my brother. You know how I often swoon over my brothers and sisters. I have nothing but the highest regard and admiration for them. One would think it is only natural for me to do that because I am their sister. So, it is wonderful when a very respected judge verifies it. :) 

The writer is a childhood friend and an elementary and high school classmate of my brother. He is now a judge in the city where I grew up. He and my sister Leah attended the same law school. My brother is a very kind and humble man. His mathematical equations have been used by NASA and in several scientific researches. 

I used this image because I did this drawing after I perused the photographs my brother took of the exotic plants and flowers last year. I have never seen most of them, how could that be? Maybe I did not look hard. Maybe because I do not like wild places. Several weeks after I completed this drawing, my brother had poison ivy. Oh my. I told him it must have been from going deep into the wild rain forests. I remembered being distressed about it when I talked to him on the phone. He just kept saying "yes, yes" to whatever I said just to make me stop. Hah!

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The Land Where You Once Walked, Where We Now Walk Without You By Our Side But In Our Hearts...

This is your farm, where you once walked. That is the front of the house we called our home, where you spent your days as a teenager and young adult until you moved in with Inday Ched. She was so happy when you kept her company. She no longer felt alone. Then there were six of us at U.P., so quiet while we studied, so noisy while we laughed and cooked popetchka. I was so happy and so proud of you when you graduated from law school. I was there! We climbed to the rooftop at dusk and we saw the sunset. You were there when I left for the U.S. Every time Inday Frey or I would come home, you always met us. When Inday Frey and I went home for Tatay's funeral, everyone had gone home but you waited for us because you did not want us to make the flight home by ourselves. The last three times Inday Frey and I came back you were no longer able to meet us or even see us go. Instead we saw you leave. We miss you so much. Everyday, in fact. We think of you everyday, several times a day. I think of you. I think of everyone. I cannot breathe when I do that. There is a lump in my throat. It hurts just the way it did when I saw you the last time. There are only 28 days this February but it feels so full. It is Mom's birthday anniversary. You and Tatay left in February. It is Inday Ched's birthday. I shall be happy for Inday Ched, yes I will call. And I will be sad because you won't be there. I miss you Inday Leah. Every time I blog I think of you. My heart aches. And you did not see my acorn blog! I know you would have been been tickled and delighted with that. I imagine you would have laughed and giggled. I love you.

I miss Mom. I miss Sammy. I miss Tatay. I miss Nanay. I love you.

Happy Birthday Inday Ched. You are the best teacher I ever had and the most beautiful; you are my favorite, ever! I love you. Happy Birthday!!! I shall eat chocolates for your sake. The things I do because I love you. Hehehehehe!

Ah yes, February is the month of love. Tsup!

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Celebrate Life! Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!!!

My Dearest Em, Soar!!! 

8"x11" Black and colored pigment and India ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board

Here's a quick drawing I started this morning (while waiting at my doctor's office, heheh!). 

Today is my beautiful daughter's birthday. She, who gives me so much joy and happiness and makes me very proud. Together with her brother, they give me a wonderful reason to wake up every morning and do my best. 

I love you very much Em. May you have a wonderful celebration and may this be a wonderful beginning of another adventure. Tsup Tsup Tsup!!!

Today is also Walk For Life, Celebrate Life Day!

Today is also the day I was supposed to celebrate my 25th anniversary as a R.N./Clinical Analyst at my company. Actually it was last year but they delayed the luncheon. I missed it. Instead I  took the day off and spent it with my husband.

Today is the day  to celebrate life's blessings, like I do everyday.

Today, I changed my name to Shuronda. I will tell the story next time. Gotta get ready for a celebration.

Take care everyone. Be good and do the right thing no matter how difficult.

Tsup!

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Happy Edge

Rooted.  8"x11" colored and black pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board

Good morning! (Yes, it is morning somewhere in the world, hehehe!) It seems ages since I blogged. So many things are happening in my life and the world. I have been so busy at work. Extremely busy. So, if I have been mute about a lot of things lately, it is because I am preserving my energy to deal with realities, several of which I consider impractical and burdensome or bureaucratically onerous as we implement Obamacare. My job is to convert the law's interpretations to clinical decision support modules. Do I have the edge? Well, it feels more like clinging to a cliff. Fortunately, my roots run deep and so I cling. Just like these trees I have drawn for Illustration Friday’s theme. I drew these images this past weekend. I decided to use colors, hopefully in a subtle way. 

Taal Lake and Tall Volcano. 8"x11" colored and black pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board

The above is an illustration of Taal Lake and Taal Volcano. On August 13^th, 2011, my daughter visited the place with my sister, her aunt, Tita Leah. I miss my sister, if indeed angels in heaven come from good humans, there is a new angel up there. I would like to think that she visits and looks down upon us here once in a while. I was not able to make that trip but my daughter took some amazing photographs. At that time, my sisters, brothers, and I gathered in Manila to be with our sister. The doctor gave her two weeks to live if she did not undergo brain surgery. The lung cancer had metastasized to her brain. Our sister fought bravely but seven months later she passed away. It was a month and two days after her 60^th birthday. She would have been 61 this month. I miss my sister very much. Yet, as time goes by, the pain and sorrow change to a sadness that somehow seems to comfort more than hurt. The memory of my sister inspires and strengthens me. Though I am sometimes sad, thinking of her fills me with love. In life we are blessed and gifted with the best relations but some are taken away too soon.

Also, this month, my family will be all smiles, two other special reasons and celebrations. It's the epsilons' birthday month. They are epsilons no more. This week,  we will give thanks and celebrate my son's birthday. Then in two more weeks, we celebrate my daughter's birthday. These two have brought my husband and me enormous pride and joy. I could dedicate a whole blog about the adventure of raising children in America, but suffice to say, their father and I love them so very much and we are so proud of them.

At home when I light candles, I do so to honor my ancestors and dearest departed family members, but I also give thanks and celebrate life. Such is the state of things. I guess after all, I do have an edge. Life is good. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Edge. 8"x11" colored and black pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board

Edge Too. 8"x11" colored and black pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board

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I Mean It To Be Personal

Cadena de Amor - What Matters Most

I know

why I am here

who I love

what I like

what I need to do.

It is different from

what I wish

Those are extra

and fancy too.

In the end it's not how far I have gone

But who is near

when it's time for me to go.

I know who loves me

or at least who I want to love me.

What matters is

I know who I love.

I have come
full circle.
I wanted to go there
 hoping to find what I want
Only to discover
I had it all along.
All the words and cheers
were intoxicating.
I started thinking of going there
and there
 and there.
But there is not where
I long for
otherwise I will be happy going there
because there is not here
and here was my there then.
It is where I am happy.
My refuge.
My home.
My love.

I do not long for an audience

to validate what I do.

No certificate to verify what I did.

I know what I do

I do it well

not because someone tells me

but because I set myself to do so.

Frankly I do not know how I got here

I can't remember ever planning

or plotting

but how I got here I remember,

was not always easy.

This I do know

that whatever I do

I do it because I know it is right

for me

and that is fine by me

and even more so if it make the one I love happy.

Maybe it's not what makes for greatness

It's not so self conscious

and not aiming for glory.

I do not think of myself first

but those who I love the most.

It gives me purpose.

An honorable duty.

I am honored to oblige.

I do not want to love everybody

and heaven forbid if everybody does in turn.

No, I want to love a few

And give it all.

It's personal, you know.

Quite simple

and ordinary

that it makes it rather

special.

Yes!

Thank you for being in my life.

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Their Mother's And Father's Eight Children

Their Mother's And Father's Eight Children
Once upon a time when I was a child and everything was perfect, I played with my five sisters and two brothers...

Pigment ink on 14"x17 Bristol Board

There is no greater blessing and a more desirable beginning in life for a child than to be born to a loving mother and father. The journey ahead is a series of adventures and struggles, of plans and surprises, joy and sadness,  happiness and pain, elation and sorrow, disappointments and contentment... an ebb and flow of highs and lows but always tempered and soothed by love. That is the premise of being a family. Sadly a family unit may end too soon or its equilibrium punctuated and jolted. So it rebuilds itself always with the goal of keeping and maintaining it as a source and refuge of love.

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Lost

Sisters (also known by many other titles) Oil on canvas 30"x40"

When I saw today's prompt for Illustration Friday, Lost, The first thing that came to mind was a recognition of my own emotional state when I think of my sister Leah. I am sad. Perhaps I was given many sisters, five. and two brothers to teach me the most important lessons in life so I won't be lost when I have to deal with the responsibilities and challenges of raising my children. They are rapidly vanishing small quantities, epsilons, now young stars trying to kindle their inner light.

I have been distraught and inconsolable with the loss of my father, the first most important masculine figure in my life, and then my mother. How can I describe losing one's most loving and beloved parents? Yet it seemed they followed the natural order of things. They lived full lives. I miss them but my heart is at peace. Not with my sister. While my heart is not in turmoil and my mind not confused, I feel more than missing. My heart physically aches, overwhelmed by sadness and sorrow. I do not question "why" anymore. I just accept that it is so. Nevertheless, I will not deny this state where I am aware and in control and now and then I stumble into a pit, deep, dark and I fall, and keep on falling until I am buoyed by tears. The darkness is awful and the aura most not apt for any of my sisters and brothers, who fill my life with colors, certainly not Leah, for she was the brightest and most brilliant of all. I miss her terribly.

I am not lost, I just often wander.

Below is an attempt at poetry which I posted, of all places, a skywatching blog. It is supposed to be a blog of brevity, almost monepic, ah leave it to me, the periphrastic one.

I am not posting this for IF. This is just my warm up.

If Only I Were A Little Like You

The world will be a better place

If only I were a little like you.

I will be of unwavering faith

Of elegant bearing and eloquence

And altruistic spirit, never forsaking.

The world will be a better place

If only I were a little like you.

I will be with great sense of humor

Inspiring and encouraging outlook

And enduring devotion.

The world will be a better place

If only I were a little like you.

I will have your brilliant mind

Your spitfire courage in quest for justice

And love for mankind.

The world will be a better place

If only I were a little like you.

I will laugh with all my heart

Be gentle and kind

Dedicated and true.

The world will be a better place

If only I were a little like you.

I will be nurturing and faithful,

Love deeply

And always be hopeful.

Instead I am me.

I thought I was brave,

instead afraid.

I thought I can speak,

instead stutter.

My heart overrules.

My clear mind clutters

You remind me that if I think less of I and me

And more of us and we

Then perhaps the world will be a better place.

"We feel we are with you when we read it."

God! How I miss my sisters so much,

especially the one

whose face I can no longer kiss

and whose hands I can no longer hold.

In my mind I just hear her gentle voice and laughter

and I see her smiling.

But memories,

they are not enough
to unbreak a heart.

My Favorite Quartet And My Favorite Teacher

My Favorite Quartet

Archival pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board

Has this ever happened to you? You are filled with so many conflicting emotions, you panic because you can't decide which one you want to express first? This is how I feel today. My children are laughing at me because I just discovered Amy Winehouse and I am so awed by her voice. I ran to the mall today to buy her CD albums and I have been singing aloud, the first time after several years. Then I catch myself being so happy and then I stop. I know about Amy's tragic life and that makes me sad. How could one who had so much soul slip like that? I feel so tender towards her memory. Then on my way home, I sent a text message to my eldest sister to ask her when she will be the guest speaker of the 100th Commencement Exercises of Negros Occidental High School. Today!!! The school opened on July 1, 1902 but wars disrupted a few years of instructions.   She was selected by the Alumni Association to do the honors and they also recognized her as an Outstanding Alumnus. Okay, so you say, it is only high school but this is a very special school. It is the oldest educational institution of the province of Negros Occidental when the island was a republic! (Oh yes, the island where I was born was its own republic during the Spanish occupation!) My sister joins the ranks of NOHS's outstanding guest speaker roll, together with former presidents, senators, Supreme Court justices, diplomats and other outstanding citizen-alumni given the honor. Anyway, I am so proud of my sister!!! So special - 100th Commencement Exercises. Our parents would have been so proud. I am so happy but I am also so sad. I am sad because I know if our sister Leah (also an NOHS almunus) was still alive, I am sure she would accompany my sister Mercedes.  

So I posted this photo on my Facebook page and so many of my friends had my sister as their teacher when she taught elementary school for a few years. It is wonderful to know that I am not biased in my assessment and to read their comments telling me she is their favorite teacher and they send their thanks and hugs makes me swell with pride. 

"The guest speaker for NOHS's 100th Commencement Exercises is none other than our Ms. Adorio, shown here with her 5th grade class in ETCS. I think this was in 1970.  Dr. Adorio (in black striped dress) was selected by the NOHS Alumni Association as the distinguished guest speaker for the 100th Commencement Exercises and also recognized as an outstanding alumnus. She is also an alumnus of ETCS. I once wrote this about her: "I think there is something wonderful about being a good teacher. You positively affect people's lives and inspire them. I think I may be biased now, but I have to say that she is one of the best  teachers I had. It was difficult for me because I had to prove twice as much that I deserved the grade I got and if I misbehaved, not only did I have to answer to her as my teacher but also as my sister and then our mother definitely had to hear about it! Ms. Adorio left LCC and ETCS for the University of the Philippines where she pursued her masters and PhD degrees and was invited to join the faculty. She taught at the UP College of Education for many years. She was a Fulbright Scholar to the U.S.A. and then a Fulbright Exchange Professor. She spoke at international conferences on Special Education. She currently teaches at several universities in Metro Manila, runs a special school and is the author of several books on Special Education on which she is considered an authority.""

I would like to add that she is a terrific sister. She holds our family together. She is a beacon for my brothers and sisters and we owe our success to her because as our eldest, she encouraged and supported us to do our best, nurture our ambitions, and follow our dreams. She always defended me when my Mother scolded me for drawing too much. She gave me my first set of professional colored pencils, charcoal and pastels when I was ten years old. She took care of my sister Leah when she became ill of cancer.

Thank you Inday Ched. I love you.

I am so happy and I am so sad. I miss my brothers and sisters...

My Beloved Quartet

My beloved quartet upon which I was requested to include the company of two beloved canines, a dearly beloved six year old lagomorph and two members of the Order Testudines, thus rendering my illustration a compilation of several periods and stages in our continuing saga. 8"x10" Pigment ink drawing on 11"x14" Bristol Board.

If you think you can draw or paint, let young people especially teenagers critique your work. Don't fool yourself with sometimes sycophantic accolades from your blog friends. They are always much too kind to tell you what they truly think, unless it is a secret blog group :). Sometimes I think I have started something really worthy and here comes my very honest and outspoken family.

"Honey, I am trying to draw a family portrait. What do you think?"

"Oh my God, I look gay."

"What?!!! Gay!!! No way!"

"Epsilon One, Does your Dad look gay?"

"Well, yes. No actually, he looks like Jesus Christ in that movie. He looks like a disco dancer. Hehehe. He looks like Pablo Escobar, that drug lord. You need to cover his chest and make his moustache look less like Jorge's. Maybe my nightmare where he was gay will come true. You need to draw Daisy and Wheezy there too."

"Drug lord!!! Gay. Grrrr. Ack!!! But this was when you were younger. So we did not have Daisy and Wheezy."

(I frantically change The Viking's profile. I make his moustache bushier, his collar smaller, draw a couple more of strands of hair, give him an undershirt, untuck his shirt, make him stockier. My son's words stick to my eyes.)

"Okay, what about now?"

"Oh that is better. That's nice. It's okay to add Daisy and Wheezy. How about my two turtles?"

"Ah okay, I will draw a "Time Warp" portrait."

"Epsilon Two, I am trying to draw a family portrait."

"Awwwwww, look at me. I am so cuuuute! Aaawwww! Look at Daisy! And Wheezy, Oooooohhh look at Snowflake."

"Your brother said that your Dad looks gay. I have changed his profile, what do you think?"

"Well, Epsilon One looks a little fruity himself."

"Aaaawwww! He is a little boy holding firecrackers."

"Aaawww he is cute. I love it. It looks okay."

"Shall I start all over?"

"No, it's okay now."

So I continue.

"Look. What do you think of it so far?"

"You gave me a tail!"

"What?!!! What tail?!"

"That!"

"Oooohh, Hahahha! That is the hem of my skirt. It does look like a tail."

(I fill it with ink.)

"How about now?"

"That's better."

Sigh*** So hard to please. This is a challenge for me. I need to learn how to draw men.