Pearl Grey, Dedicated To My First Sister

Being born to wise parents and wise sisters and brothers does not guarantee one wisdom. I struggle with this. I am forever catching up.

Pearl Grey's Dream Sequence (This Morning)
30"x40" Oil on Gallery stretched canvas.

Pearl Grey (Last Night)

30"x40" Oil on Gallery stretched canvas.

Chartreuse and Scarlet can't hold up a carafe to their sister Pearl Grey when it comes to dreams. In fact it is believed Pearl Grey sleeps just to dream. Pearl Grey, Chartreuse and Scarlet are Fiesta dish colors. Perl Grey and Chartreuse are retired. Scarlet is still an active color.

The pictures I painted for Pearl Grey's background are real paintings. The nurse painting is one of two paintings I did from a study (Diablo de Uteri) I did many years ago (above left). The paintings like my life are interrelated, interconnected inside out, outside in, round and round.

Today is both a day of joy and poignant remembrances. Today my Father died ten years ago. He passed away on the day of his first child's birthday, my eldest sister. I used to miss him a lot and I cried for a couple of years when I remember him but I realized he lives in me and so I stopped crying and started celebrating. Thank you Tatay, for everything and for being my father. My eldest sister was very close to my parents when we were growing up. She grew up being a pseudo parent and if I have been disrespectful, defiant or unkind to any of my sisters or brothers all of whom were older except my younger sister, I cannot ever remember being so to my eldest sister. I looked up to her when I was a child, literally and figuratively. Hahaha! Seriously, I was smitten with her. She walked with grace with her head held up and she spoke English with a beautiful accent and diction.

I had a crush on my own sister. Hahahaha! She is also the only sister who gave me a lot of slack and always intervened on my behalf to save me from the dungeon, the gauntlet and the firing squad when every entreaty failed and I made everybody's lives miserable by my antics and bad behaviour. She explained to my Mother that "Ces is different, maybe we should experiment with her. She does not respond to traditional child rearing and cultural trends." BAM! I got a pass. Not really. (In the "Sisters" painting I depicted my sister wrapping her hand on me).What happened was the happiest of childhoods. I still got punished for misdeeds but my eldest sister gave me my first watercolor, charcoal, pastel, colored pencil sets and sketch and drawing pads and construction toys. She also let me shared her bedroom with her! Instead of sleeping in the girls' room, I slept in my eldest sister's room. She took me everywhere with her. She let me touch things. She will always be my favorite teacher, second to my mother, in fact my sister was my fifth grade teacher. The school had no choice because she was the special education teacher for the gifted and some people believed that I was just a little bit gifted. One Saturday, she took me to school with her. The school was closed but she needed to inspect the repainting job. The classroom had a massive solar system painting overhead. I picked up the brushes, of course! but it was wet so I shook it, just like a dummy, and the turpentine splattered all over my eyes. I screamed "I am blind! I am blind!" My sister knew just what to do. When we got home I was afraid she would tell our mother what happened and I was afraid Mother will be upset with my carelessness. She did not tell her. Wow! I decided I will love her forever and she can do no wrong by me. My sister is the kind of person who emphasizes abilities over disabilities, and believe in everyone's capacity to do their best.

After my grade school years, my sister went on to become a professor, author and authority in Special Education. She was a Fulbright scholar and professor in the U.S. and is an author of several books on Special Education. After she retired from her professorial job, she continues to teach and manage a school for disabled children.

Oh my, my sister is truly great and wonderful. She makes accomplishments , achievements and honors mere tasks. Why my brothers and sisters are I achieved academic success is because of her guidance and inspiration. Every friend of mine who I leave in my sister's company returns in awe not because she is wonderful and awesome in many ways but because she is very unassuming, humble, compassionate and extremely kind and gentle. I make it my prerogative to beam with pride., of course. This morning I received an email from her and she wrote

"Dear Ces, your blog is sooo good, I do not miss reading it. I think, no, I'm certain, I have a gifted sister. We have not seen you for a long time but your blog, with our pictures sometimes, makes distance less an enemy. Don't you sleep?"

Hah! There you go! I think so much of myself sometimes and my sister knows how to make everything real. My sisters are sometimes distraught that most of our family photos do not have my elder brother who studied at a university in another island or was always away for work. My eldest sister loves him very much. He is her favorite because they shared so much during their childhood including the Japanese occupation (he was a baby and she was a toddler). The first big painting I did, above, (36"x48" is a depiction of my mother, my eldest sister and brother). Here's a picture of our two brothers for you Inday.

Happy Birthday! I love you. You can ask for anything and have anything you want from me.