Sad Okay. 8"x11" pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board. Yes, each full blade of grass was drawn individually. :)
I looked at some family photographs this weekend and there I was as a little baby, toddler, schoolgirl, high school student, college student, young adult, daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend...I was so happy. I knew I was happy because I remember the occasions. There was a photograph where I looked like I was almost crying from laughing. My sister Freah can make me do that, even over the phone. It hurt to talk to her sometimes because I laughed so much my abdomen hurt. We did not even have to tell jokes, we just started telling it and we both laughed. These days, we don't do that... not that I seek it or miss it. These days, I have a lump in my throat and my heart seems to be jumping off my chest when I remember people I love. I was always smiling when I was with my sisters and friends. I smiled a lot. I was a very happy person. I told a lot of jokes, even if I always mangled the jokes that my family and friends laughed at my delivery instead of the jokes. Here's something very interesting. My brother Daniel took many candid photographs of me even when I was a little girl and I looked so serious, deep in thought even when playing with mud. I had that expression my sister Mercedes calls "Physics" look. It is the look one has when solving a physics problem. These days I find myself reflecting a lot. I love my solitude. These days I find myself not unhappy, nor devoid of happiness, yet feeling sad and you know, I find it quite satisfactory. Where in the past I used to seek a reason to smile or laugh or not be sad, these days, I am fine with it. I think it's okay.
All these ink to illustrate solitude. It is quite desirable state, isn't it? I like it very much. I think it is my addiction, solitude I mean, not drawing or painting. I think drawing and painting are just excuses and masks.
Look! Always walking or looking towards the right,...except in deep sorrow and then I lean to the left. :)