3/27/12

Sad Is Okay And Solitude Is Perfection








Sad Okay.  8"x11" pigment ink on 11"x14" Bristol Board. Yes, each full blade of grass was drawn individually. :)





I looked at some family photographs this weekend and there I was as a little baby, toddler, schoolgirl, high school student, college student, young adult, daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend...I was so happy. I knew I was happy because I remember the occasions. There was a photograph where I looked like I was almost crying from laughing. My sister Freah can make me do that, even over the phone. It hurt to talk to her sometimes because I laughed so much my abdomen hurt. We did not even have to tell jokes, we just started telling it and we both laughed. These days, we don't do that... not that I seek it or miss it. These days, I have a lump in my throat and my heart seems to be jumping off my chest when I remember people I love. I was always smiling when I was with my sisters and friends. I smiled a lot. I was a very happy person. I told a lot of jokes, even if I always mangled the jokes that my family and friends laughed at my delivery instead of the jokes.  Here's something very interesting. My brother Daniel took many candid photographs of me even when I was a little girl and I looked so serious, deep in thought even when playing with mud. I had that expression my sister Mercedes calls "Physics" look. It is the look one has when solving a physics problem. These days I find myself reflecting a lot. I love my solitude. These days I find myself not unhappy, nor devoid of happiness, yet feeling sad and you know, I find it quite satisfactory. Where in the past I used to seek a reason to smile or laugh or not be sad, these days, I am fine with it. I think it's okay. 


All these ink to illustrate solitude. It is quite desirable state, isn't it? I like it very much. I think it is my addiction, solitude I mean, not drawing or painting. I think drawing and painting are just excuses and masks.






















Look! Always walking or looking towards the right,...except in deep sorrow and then I lean to the left. :)



23 comments:

martinealison said...

Bonjour ma chère Ces,
Comment vas-tu ?...
Des arbres comme je les aime... Qui engloutissent le ciel et embaument la toile... ils nous font devenir grands...
Un très joli dessin.
gros bisous à toi

barbara said...

I like the light and the empty space in this one. I hope you are doing well.

Bilja said...

Oh wow, this requires a lot of patience. Nice drawing.

Purpletreebird said...

Beautiful work Ces. I find your pieces quite meditative and it makes me want to get my black pens out!
I'm sorry to hear about your friend letting you down. This happened to me a few months ago. I can forgive her now but our relationship will never, ever be the same. Sorry to bring it up when you want to forget it, I just wanted to let you know that I understand how you feel. :)
Jess xx

k.h.whitaker said...

I love them all, but I simply adore the one in the center with the bamboo. Sooooooooooooooo, incredible and captivating. It just draws me in. I love solitude too. I am quite withdrawn at times and my family thinks sometimes that I am sad when I am not. I am just content. Just quietly content and it is fine.

audrey said...

Hi Ces.
I have always required and looked forward to "alone" time. With all the hustle and bustle of life, one needs that time for rest and reflection, time to unwind and become whole again. These days I am not finding enough "alone" time and I look forward to those times when I can grab it. It has nothing to do with loneliness or sadness as some people may think. So, I understand.
Your art is a reflection of you, Ces. It is part of who you are and it is always spectacular.
TSUP! ♥ audrey

Bella Sinclair said...

Each individual blade of grass fills me with awe, knowing each one was made deliberately and carefully. The hours and patience this must have required. The clear sky reminds me of some Asian scrolls for some reason. There is a beautiful serenity to this piece. And I just love the way the threads lay on her skirt.

Dearest Ces, solitude is welcoming. I enjoy solitude. And sadness is okay. But not as a perpetual state. Sometimes people say, 'Oh, he or she died of a broken heart,' and I tend to believe there is a kernel of truth in that.

Hmmm. Always looking to the right. Perhaps your drawings reflect your political leanings?

Tsup!

Amalia K said...

Sometimes I wish there was a back door to each of your drawings so I can step in and just linger. You and your amazing hand never cease to amaze, Ces. :)

Here's a hug and a kiss. OXOX

Rod MacGregor said...

Great work Ces...I think any emotion is OK if its OK with who is having it! Great work as usual!

Tammie Lee said...

it sounds like you have found a steady stance in your state of being
i know that place, it just is

i feel as though i have been to a wonderful gallery showing of your art, fabulous darling!
been using migma pen today and yesterday, loving it and thinking of you~

Andrew Finnie said...

"Gaghrb" Ces, that's the noise I make with my mouth open and my ubulie vibrating in the breeze gushing from the air conditioner ... cause I always stand in front of my monitor with my mouth open when I look at your work... you know when you wlk into the lolly shop or the cake shop and you look around and start cursing because your stomach will only hold two kilos of anything ... well that's how I feel when I come to your blog - I think how can anyone make so much beautiful work?

Gaghrb! I hope you are cataloguing this and getting it ready to print so we can sit and admire this in our living rooms at our leisure.

og the closest google can get to Ubuliae in it's spell check was Bulimia

anyway you can tell me how to spell it - I saw it in a Gary Larson far side comic once :)

Not kidding.

Hugs from here. I hope are leaning more to the right than to the left

Ces Adorio said...

Arrggghhh! Uvula! Hahahah! Ah thank you Andrew, you are making me laugh.

Ces Adorio said...

Tammie, Thank you. Aaaw. Also thank you for the inspiration. I am soooooooo nervous!!!!

Ces Adorio said...

Because I hope that whatever I draw, you will be pleased with it. I hope so.

Ces Adorio said...

Thank you Rod! Ah. Yes, I am okay with it.

Ces Adorio said...

Thank you Amalia. Tsup!

Ces Adorio said...

Don't worry. I won't die of a broken heart unless you break it! Hahahaha! Tsup!

Ces Adorio said...

Audrey, you know, I thought of you this morning. You are such a kind friend. Thank you so much. I have been neglecting my friend duties these days but you remain steadfast in your kindness. I just want to let you know I appreciate it. Tsup!

Ces Adorio said...

Karen, I drew that one during one of my lowest points in my life. :( Thank you for appreciating.

Ces Adorio said...

Thank you Bilja.

Ces Adorio said...

Thank you Barbara, I am well.

Ces Adorio said...

Merci Martine-Alison. Gros bisous à vous aussi!

susan bc said...

such a beautiful gallery, with some words of wisdom. thanks for sharing your solitude, as we sit in solitude sharing it with you!