Showing posts with label Flavorwire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flavorwire. Show all posts

3/31/12

Artist on Artist Insults


What If Bloggers Started Being Honest?


Imagine if these artists were bloggers, they would have only received accolades. It's worse with Facebook. No one can really be honest on their blogs and pages. It's like going to a friend's  house and throwing toilet paper all over. Friends don't do that. That would be impolite and unkind. Here's a list of Artists' insults on Artists from Flavorwire, my favorite cultural news and critique magazine. Now can we start with each other?  Now don't let this list stop your  artistic drivel, I mean drive. Hahahahahahaha!!! It's really not kind to criticize anyone trying to be an artist or curtain designer. DELETEDELETEDELETEDELETE...




1. Andy Warhol on Jasper Johns:
“Oh, I think he’s great. He makes such great lunches.”
2. Salvador Dalí on Piet Mondrian:
“Completely idiotic critics have for several years used the name of Piet Mondrian as though he represented the sum mum of all spiritual activity. They quote him in every connection. Piet for architecture, Piet for poetry, Piet for mysticism, Piet for philosophy, Piet’s whites, Piet’s yellows, Piet, Piet, Piet… Well, I Salvador, will tell you this, that Piet with one ‘i’ less would have been nothing but pet, which is the French word for fart.”
3. Marc Chagall on Pablo Picasso:
“What a genius, that Picasso… It’s a pity he doesn’t paint.”
4. William Powhida on Takashi Murakami:
“…that hack Murakami trying to consume the market whole and ended up designing handbags…”
5. Pierre-Auguste Renoir on Leonardo da Vinci:
“He bores me. He ought to have stuck to his flying machines.”
6. Linder Sterling on Damien Hirst:
“Dead butterflies, cows, horses, humans, sheep, and sharks — it reads like the inventory of a funerary Noah. How many halved calves suspended in formaldehyde does the world need? To my way of thinking, none.”
7. Edgar Degas on Georges-Pierre Seurat:
“I wouldn’t have noticed it except that it was so big.”
8. Joseph Beuys on Marcel Duchamp:“The silence of Marcel Duchamp is overrated. It has become the territory of a few intellectuals, far from the life of people.”
9. Mihail Chemiakin on Voina:
“Many of us can draw a phallus with our eyes closed, but to create something serious? That’s hard, that needs to be studied. Anyone can be an amateur shit-doodling hooligan. It’s unpleasant and casts a shadow on all serious artists.”
10. Frida Kahlo on the European Surrealists:
“They are so damn ‘intellectual’ and rotten that I can’t stand them anymore… I’d rather sit on the floor in the market of Toluca and sell tortillas, than have anything to do with those ‘artistic’ bitches of Paris.”
11. Francis Bacon on Jackson Pollock:
“Jackson Pollock’s paintings might be very pretty but they’re just decoration. I always think they look like old lace.”
12. Willem de Kooning to Andy Warhol (at a party):“You’re a killer of art, you’re a killer of beauty, you’re even a killer of laughter. I can’t bear your work!”
13. Alberto Giacometti on Pablo Picasso:
“Picasso is altogether bad, completely beside the point from the beginning except for Cubist period and even that half misunderstood…. Ugly. Old-fashioned vulgar without sensitivity, horrible in color or non-color. Very bad painter once and for all.”
14.William Blake on Peter Paul Rubens:
“To my eye Ruben’s coloring is most contemptible. His shadows are of a filthy brown somewhat the color of excrement.”
15. Francis Bacon on Henri Matisse:
“I’ve never liked his things very much, except the very, very early things… I loathe them. I can never see what there is to it, with all those squalid little forms. I can’t bear the drawings either — I absolutely hate his line. I find his line sickly.”
16. Banksy when meeting Robbo:
“Never heard of you.”
17. Michelangelo on Raphael:
“Everything he knew, he learned from me.”
18. Salvador Dalí on Pablo Picasso:
“He finished modern art at one blow by outuglying, alone, in a single day, the ugly that all others combined turned out in several years.”
19. J. Alden Weir on the French Impressionists:
“I never in my life saw more horrible things. They do not observe drawing nor form but give you an impression of what they call nature. It was worse than the Chamber of Horrors.”
20. Claude Monet on the French Realists:
“Poor blind idiots! They want to see everything clearly, even through fog!”
21. John Lurie on Julian Schnabel in the painting Hittites Attacking The Schnabel:
“Oh Lord of Gods we must smite the terrible Schnabel.” “Yes, smite the Schnabel.”
22. Andy Warhol on Julian Schnabel (in his diary):
“Julian Schnabel called and said he was coming by with that rock person, Captain Beefheart. And we didn’t want him to, and then I got worried that Julian might have heard what I’d been saying about him — that he goes around to other artists’ studios to find things to copy.”
23. Salvador Dalí on Paul Cézanne:
“I began a happening in New York by announcing in front of three thousand spectators that Cézanne was a catastrophe of awkwardness — a painter of decrepit structures of the past. I was applauded, principally because nobody knew who Cézanne was.”
24. Nicolas Poussin on Caravaggio:
“Carvaggio’s art is painting for lackeys. This man has come into the world to destroy painting.”
25. Titian on Tintoretto:
“He will never be anything but a dauber.”
26. Salvador Dalí on Jackson Pollock’s style:
“…The indigestion that goes with fish soup…”
27.Gustave Courbet on Edouard Manet’s Olympia:
“It’s flat, it is isn’t modeled. It’s like the Queen of Hearts after a bath.”
28. Frederic Leighton on James McNeil Whistler:
“My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state. Why don’t you ever finish them?”
29. James McNeil Whistler on Frederic Leighton:
“My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?”
30. Anonymous vandal on Shepard Fairey:




Can we even call this art? Seriously?!

Return Of The Art Of The Insult





The Art Of The Insult
Archival pigment ink. 8"x11" on 11"x14" Bristol Board

We are obsessed with the quest for "self". We want self satisfaction, self-esteem, self-actualization, without regard for standards. These days people try their damnedest best to be polite,  therefore, modern writers and poets only have sycophantic friends and coaches who praise their work. It is even funnier when a serious critic attempts an honest critique. The sycophants will attack him. If not for self-publishing, those self proclaimed writers' novels and book of poetic rubbish will never see the light of day. Go ahead, the earth is full of trash anyway. What did Oscar Wilde say? "There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are either well written or badly written. That is all." Listen to a critic or find an honest friend with taste. Now look at "art". Everybody is an artist.

A little background on this post. One day, a fellow analyst at work told me about a novel she was reading. She thought it was a good novel. The book had been passed around the office and I was one of the few who had not read it. I asked what it was about and she proceeded to tell me about an ordinary story. Then she said "You may not like it. It is not your type." I was curious what she thought my type was, so I obliged. It was not a novel at all. It was a 300 page-newsprint, paper bound book, published by some obscure publishing house. I call them disposable books. After reading five pages, I gave it back to her and said. "You are right. I can't read this crap. I'd rather poke my eyeballs with toothpicks." We laughed. Seriously, the dearth of literary talent. My friend liked it because the protagonist swore a lot. In fact every sentence she uttered had the word "fuck" in it. "I said, no one I know speaks like that." She replied "I do." So there you go.


Best Writer on Writer Insults
from Flavorwire



30. Gustave Flaubert on George Sand
“A great cow full of ink.”

29. Robert Louis Stevenson on Walt Whitman
“…like a large shaggy dog just unchained scouring the beaches of the world and baying at the moon.”

28. Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante Alighieri
“A hyena that wrote poetry on tombs.”

27. Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling (2000)
“How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”

26. Vladimir Nabokov on Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Dostoevky’s lack of taste, his monotonous dealings with persons suffering with pre-Freudian complexes, the way he has of wallowing in the tragic misadventures of human dignity — all this is difficult to admire.”

25. Gertrude Stein on Ezra Pound
“A village explainer. Excellent if you were a village, but if you were not, not.”

24. Virginia Woolf on Aldous Huxley
“All raw, uncooked, protesting.”

23. H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw
“An idiot child screaming in a hospital.”

22. Joseph Conrad on D.H. Lawrence
“Filth. Nothing but obscenities.”

21. Lord Byron on John Keats (1820)
“Here are Johnny Keats’ piss-a-bed poetry, and three novels by God knows whom… No more Keats, I entreat: flay him alive; if some of you don’t I must skin him myself: there is no bearing the drivelling idiotism of the Mankin.”

20. Vladimir Nabokov on Joseph Conrad
“I cannot abide Conrad’s souvenir shop style and bottled ships and shell necklaces of romanticist cliches.”

19. Dylan Thomas on Rudyard Kipling
“Mr Kipling … stands for everything in this cankered world which I would wish were otherwise.”

18. Ralph Waldo Emerson on Jane Austen
“Miss Austen’s novels . . . seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer . . . is marriageableness.”

17. Martin Amis on Miguel Cervantes
“Reading Don Quixote can be compared to an indefinite visit from your most impossible senior relative, with all his pranks, dirty habits, unstoppable reminiscences, and terrible cronies. When the experience is over, and the old boy checks out at last (on page 846 — the prose wedged tight, with no breaks for dialogue), you will shed tears all right; not tears of relief or regret but tears of pride. You made it, despite all that ‘Don Quixote’ could do.”

16. Charles Baudelaire on Voltaire (1864)
“I grow bored in France — and the main reason is that everybody here resembles Voltaire…the king of nincompoops, the prince of the superficial, the anti-artist, the spokesman of janitresses, the Father Gigone of the editors of Siecle.”

15. William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

14. Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

13. Gore Vidal on Truman Capote
“He’s a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.”

12. Oscar Wilde on Alexander Pope
“There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.”

11. Vladimir Nabokov on Ernest Hemingway (1972)
“As to Hemingway, I read him for the first time in the early ‘forties, something about bells, balls and bulls, and loathed it.”

10. Henry James on Edgar Allan Poe (1876)
“An enthusiasm for Poe is the mark of a decidedly primitive stage of reflection.”

9. Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac
“That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

8. Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger
“I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”

7. D.H. Lawrence on Herman Melville (1923)
“Nobody can be more clownish, more clumsy and sententiously in bad taste, than Herman Melville, even in a great book like ‘Moby Dick’….One wearies of the grand serieux. There’s something false about it. And that’s Melville. Oh dear, when the solemn ass brays! brays! brays!”

6. W. H. Auden on Robert Browning
“I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.”

5. Evelyn Waugh on Marcel Proust (1948)
“I am reading Proust for the first time. Very poor stuff. I think he was mentally defective.”

4. Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)
“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

3. Virginia Woolf on James Joyce
“[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.”

2. William Faulkner on Mark Twain (1922)
“A hack writer who would not have been considered fourth rate in Europe, who tricked out a few of the old proven sure fire literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.”

1. D.H. Lawrence on James Joyce (1928)
“My God, what a clumsy olla putrida James Joyce is! Nothing but old fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.”