5/24/10

Shed A Tear, But That's It


India Ink, pigment ink, colored pencils, graphite pencil on 9"x12" Bristol board. Inspired by my most beloved friend.



She said:
That's right.
Stand firm.
Do not falter.
Shed a tear, but that's it.


I have drawn two other portraits with this series and as I drew them I kept thinking NOT about the tears or tear but about how I am inspired, strengthened and encouraged by these women. As I kept drawing, I cannot, in my heart continue to make this series dwell on sadness. When I started thinking of Bella, Arijah, Deborah, Manon, Vanessa and Silke, I started looking at this series in a different light. I have read these beautiful women's blogs and every time I read something a little heart tugging or breaking, my heart rejoices in witnessing their courage and their resolve. Feeling sorry for oneself does indeed take time and sometimes it is more romantic to wallow in sadness and talk or write about it, but it is not really my style. I never subscribed to the Victim mentality. I have this genetic tendency to view any event that threatens my peaceful state with resolve, to conquer and demolish it, I did not cry. I used to view crying as a sign of weakness or acceptance of defeat. No more. Giving tears their due time, allow me to acknowledge the pain and the hurt…then I move forward, having pondered the state from which I have to extract myself and those in my care.

Tell me, how do you view tears and crying?

Ah, as for me, tears are good and weeping is okay, but that's it.

Go on and move ahead.

35 comments:

Ces said...

From now on, my women's eyes are open.

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

When I get to a point that I can manage to produce tears, I know the healing is on the way.
Crying washes the soul clean so that we can look at life with fresh eyes and move on.
Tears are an essential part of life---I went too many years without them.

XXOO!!
Anne

Deborah said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOO I like this style ever so much! At first glance it appears simple, but there is so much detail in the simplicity. The silk scarf, the single tear...very moving. How do I feel about tears? Some things in life deserve periods of mourning and others require acceptance. I like your fierce attack and kill it style. I think it is important to not become comfortable with pain. How are you today, my Cesalicious?
**blows kisses** Deb

Marie S said...

I adore the eyes on this portrait.
She is soul-full.
I push back the tears, and push them back again, until I explode and then the water fall washes away the hurt the anguish and the fear and I am refreshed.

ValGalArt said...

this old girl (ME :)) needs a good cry every now and again ;)
things touch me so deeply and i am probably a little too sensitive but i see it as a good thing :-x
i am hoping you are well and that you are going to enjoy the impending summer :D

Bella Sinclair said...

Aaaaahhhhh!!! Tsup tsup!!!! Hahaha, oh, I like Deborah's words. 'Fierce attack and kill it!' Go commando!

Absolutely heartwarming and beautiful, Ces. I love the colors in her elegant scarf. We are women of resolve and grit and stamina, and we stand proud.

Of course, I do enjoy the occasional pity party, too. It goes very well with a plate full of pastries and ice cream. But they do not last long. In fact, the pity and sadness act as a sort of spring. They pull me down for just a moment and then SHWOOP, I am propelled, catapulted forward. Life doesn't always guarantee a soft landing, but at least I am moving in the right direction.

Poetic Artist said...

I think this series is wonderful.
You are so good at details.
Tears are good to wash away the pain or sorrow but the best ones are when you laugh so hard and the tears come rolling out and you almost wet your pants...LOL

Chris said...

This is cool.

I don't really feel emotions are things that decisions have to be made about. They are feelings. They can't hurt anyone. Words, maybe. Actions, certainly. But feelings, they are personal, real and they can be expressed. No one else has to like them, do anything to stop them, or be responsible for them. A lot of people (my family) made such a big deal out of feelings they lost all perspective. Repressing feelings can make them more influential than they should be. Just as always expressing them can.

Manon Doyle said...

Ces...... I'm loving this and we're only two deep. I'm a crier. When I painted all those crying women everyone thought I was depressed including my mother. Nothing could be further from the truth. Tears are a release of emotion and that emotion can be heartfelt happiness. Passion and tears.... my friend!! You have a ton of passion.... let the tears flow!!

Silke said...

I love this! And it sounds like I'm much like all the other wonderful friends in this group - I am usually a no nonsense kind of woman and I'm always seeing the silver lining. But once in a while I need a good cry and then move forward again. It's like a good rain that clears the air... Your new series is gorgeous!! TSUP!! Silke

Amalia K said...

Tears may swell
and drop as rain
streaming down
to cleanse your pain.

So now a kiss.
And one embrace.
As your tears
beautifully shine
upon your face.

~wood nymph~

Deborah said...

Oh Your Royal Cesessness, I forgot to tell you, I do cry when I am overwhelmingly happy or grateful. Those tears taste like sugar...no salt added. LoVe LoVe LoVe you ♥ **kisskiss** Deb

buckram and bembo said...

onion head

Deborah said...

Oooooo so you are a loud one! Then it's true that good things come in small packages! teehee. Yours. Not the Viking's. **slaps self** Deb

Ces said...

Anne, tears certainly have healing powers, unless of course they are crocodile's tears. You know, I have never seen a crocodile cry, I am sure if I come closer... Hah!

Deborah: Thank you. I had to model the scarf and look at myself in the mirror while I drew it. ABSOLUTELY - it is important not to get comfortable with pain, I vow, not to be and strive to teach those I love not to be comfortable with pain.Yes! yes! Those tears of joy. I first had them when I came back to the Philippines to visit my parents for the first time after many years. The Viking and I were already married by the Justice of the peace in Texas and we went to the Phils. to get married in church. When I saw my mother again I just hugged her so tight and cried and I kissed her face over and over and over again. I love tears of joy. Mine are accompanied by shrieks and screams of delight.

Tsup! Tsup!!!

Oh, Marie dearest, that is perfect for an implosion! Kaboom! Please let them flow.

Val, I certainly understand and I would not want you to be any different my dearest, sisterfriend.

Ahhh Bella darling! Tsup! Tsup!!! I love the pity party complete with pastries and ice cream!, still I would prefer it to be just a regular party with the same. I love this: "We are women of resolve and grit and stamina, and we stand proud." It is only possible with the love and support of friends like you.

Oh Katelen! I agree with you. Those are the best tears, ever. Buckram and Bembo laughs until she cries. Ooops! She is here!

Oh Chris, I think some emotions do hurt others, especially the ones we love. Anger is an emotion, sadness is an emotion. To explode in anger is very disturbing and to dwell in sadness is heartbreaking to those who love the person. We have a responsibility to those we made commitments and to those who are under our care, to control our emotions so that, like what Deborah said, we will be able to get up and feed the kids.

Oh Manon, you and I are twins in this category. I am not ashamed to say that I cry when I paint sometimes. They are mostly tears of joy and happiness. Crying is not necessarily related to depression. Most depressed people won't be able to paint so beautifully and powerfully like you do.


Oh Silke, yes! Like rain! "Moving forward", I am with you there! I always think of you as a positive person. You radiate with joy.


Amalia my dear:
You caught me tonight
after I turned off the light
inside my head.
I am using a flashlight
and therefore
cannot...
Hmn, I can't think of a smart response!
HAHAHAHA!

Ces said...

Hello Inday, peel my onion!

Ooooooooooooh Deborah, heheheheheh! AHAHAHAHAHA! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH I am speechless. Hehehehe.

Deborah said...

Speechless Ces? NEVER! I had to sneak in the office to check...hubby LOVES The Bachelorette!!! Is that not the cutest thing! OOooooo it's back on. Must run before he notices I am missing. **BIG KISS** Deb

martinealison said...

Hi Ces,
Parfois il est bon de laisser couler ses larmes... Il est bon de rafraîchir notre coeur grâce à elles... Il ne faut pas étouffer ses émotions...
Bisous et merci pour ce beau dessin, leçon de vie.

audrey said...

I do not cry often, but when I do, it is like a waterfall; and after, I feel lighter and refreshed. I believe tears are a necessary cleansing tool, not something to use for self gain or pity. I am often moved to tears by sadness, greed, lonely people, and the evils of the world - sometimes a little too sensitive and tears just fall.
The best tears are those that make your stomach hurt and make you roll on the floor, shouting to your friend to stop making you laugh - it hurts too much!! We could all use a good dose of those tears every once in a while!!
Another wonderful series, Ces.
♥ audrey

steveroni said...

Remember the story (1st grade?) about the little princess who could not cry? One day she peeled onions, and the tears flowed, She live happily ever after as a "normal" Peep

Happy birthday to steveroni--you are expected to visit ME today, OK?

BTW, I made my peace w Manon D. Thank you for the tip-off. You both are now a part OF my blogging life, and I so appreciate the opportunity to just BE here. But you know that!

Ces, I SO love your thoughts on friends, tears, sadness/poor me, and allowing the tear dam (damn tears?--grin!) to breach. I am going to blog "tears one day this week--maybe...because I have thought also about this.

Your acceptance into this blog-commune of artists validates to me that I'm NOT just a piece of crapola. So I know several Peeps who do not like cherries!

Good NIGHT!

Lisa Holtzman said...

This is beautiful Ces. I love the color and pattern again the simpler areas of black and white. Sometimes I try to push feelings away, but once I let myself feel and cry, I always feel better. As a kid I was told not to cry, but I think it's such a powerful release.

Deborah said...

Thank you for my full bottom lip. Yes, I just looked again. Now I am going to bed. Sleepy sleepy. With a very full bottom lip. **big kisses from a full bottom lip** Deb

lakhsmita indira said...

I always have a problem with doing my waterline, it smudges in less than half an hour. My droopy Asian eyes can only handle upper lashline, sadly. Doing my lower lashline will only give me panda eyes.
Then i set it with a matte black eyeshadow (or whatever color matches the eyeliner). But if you have sensitive eyes I dont recommend this and it might feel weird the first time but my eyes are always watering and even if I cry this stays on the whole time.

lakhsmita indira said...

this is cool now your blog sounds like Harper's Bazaar Beauty Advice.

lakhsmita indira said...

see you later grande witch!

lakhsmita indira said...

oh i forgot to tell you, she is BEAUTIFUL and has terrific eyelashes!
i like it a lot!!!!
is that extensions?

lakhsmita indira said...

btw im talkin' to your laptop, i know...

Ces said...

Deborah, you give me so much pleasure imagining you sneaking away and then running back to pretend as if you have always been there. How adorable is that!!! Good morning to you my dearest sisterfriend!

MartineAlison, Oui, il est très important que nous fournissions une sortie saine et équilibrée pour nos émotions. Merci mon ami.

Audrey, you are the Niagara, heheheheh. I know exactly what you mean. I have those episodes of laughter with tears. Buckram and Bembo is an expert in extracting those!

Happy birthday Big Man! Happy birthday to you. I believe the word "crapola" should not be used with a Gemini, never. I am gld to hear you made peace with Manon, that was a temporary loss of insanity on your part. How could she not be a part of your blog visits? And don't listen to that talk about my blog being more intellectual that hers. It takes great intellect to paint like Manon Doyle! Happy birthday Steveroni!

Lisa, I remember those instructions too, especially from teachers who punished us even more if we cried. It was a different time and quite frankly, I can't imagine a classroom full of crying students... yes I can. Hahahah!

Deborah, it couldn't be any other way! I will post it later this week.

Mita dear, you are young and beautiful. There is no need to assault your waterline with chemicals and paints. Your eyes are very delicate, keep it as natural as possible, although a raccoon named Mita may be a beautiful raccoon. I only used eye shadow and eye liner but now, I just use moisturizers and lipstick. It's too hot here! Tsup!

steveroni said...

One day I looked at myself and said, "What's a Gemini?" And I heard myself answer: "I dunno!"

Isn't that worth at least ONE tear? Or groannnn?

Ces said...

That is worth one chuckle and an affirmation because I will say the same thing.

Silke said...

TSUP! No tears today.. Love, Silke

buckram and bembo said...

aha! the scarf looks familiar.

Odd Chick said...

I love this so much - just the serenity of it. It just made me want to keep staring at it in case I could help once she was willing to talk about it.

Ces said...

No tears today Silke, In fact not for a while. Just tears of joy.

Hello Buckram and Bembo, YES! thats scarf, we were together when I got it.

Hello Odd Chick. Thanks for stopping by.

Baino said...

Oh Ces doing all my catching up in one day. How do I view tears? I tend to tear up when I'm angry, again when I'm moved by something beautiful but rarely when I'm sad. Sometimes there's nothing more cathartic than a good cry!