Black Oak

Ah! What's going on? What's with this interactive - not, posts I have been publishing lately, you ask. Not much. It's a personal issue. I cannot leave anything out here just by itself. I am not like other bloggers. They can take a break and leave for weeks, months years. I on the other hand can't do that. I either have to "endorse" something to someone or close it, erase it, delete it. No one wants to take over my blog. Haha! I understand.I promised my sister that I won't delete my blog any longer. I promised my daughter I won't burn my drawings or paintings. So now I am stuck. It's the 29th of February at 1:21 AM. What am I doing up this late? I was working. First I worked late and went home late. Went to bed early but could not sleep and Fate was kind enough to spare me from insomnia, it called me to work again. So at least I am not having a sleepless night but a working night. It's all in how one views things, particularly the way I view things. So we have an extra day. A friend forwarded me this email which I usually dislike and therefore delete but this morning, I  accidentally read it and it caught my attention. These are 5 questions on what to do with this extra day.

1. What’s going well? (No, really. What can you celebrate?
2. What are you trying to ignore? (That irritating stuff that you’re tolerating.  Or that call to Great Work that’s making your palms sweat?)
3. What’s boring you? (”Comfort is boredom with good PR.”)
4. How do you want to be remembered? (What’s the ending you want to write for your life?
5. Who do you love? (And why aren’t you spending more time with these people?)

Have to give these away yet:

Cyclobalanopsis morii

Pen and ink on ATC-sized Bristol board. Cyclobalanopsis morii (Hayata) Schottky, Bot. Jahrb. Syst. 47: 658. 1921. 台湾青冈 tai wan qing gang. Quercus morii Hayata, J. Coll. Sci. Imp. Univ. Tokyo 30(1): 293. 1911. Additional reading here.

Words With Epsilons - Never A Manque

There's an extra day in the year. How do you spend it?

1959-1997

LUNGS (Beat me!)................. MANQUE (Game on!)

(Aaahhh! She is is not going to like this photo. Look at her onesie. It is all stretched out. It was hot and humid and she was surrounded by strangers in a strange land. She only calmed down in the midst of her cousins or the ducks in the yard. Her brother had already gone native. See below...Oh wait. She loves her photo! She laughed :))

Epsilon II started playing Words With Friends. I am concerned...

"We play at school only at lunchtime."

"Good, only at lunchtime."

We sit across from each other. She is doing homework. I am drawing. She starts a game with me...FINALLY!!! I have been wanting to play scrabble with her. She starts the game...

SCHUSS

(Ugh! What the heck! Oh look at her. She is taunting me.) LUNGS

(She scuffs at my turn. "Lungs. Pffft!") MANQUE

(Dang!) JO

(Hah! "Jo") HUMANE

(Oh goodness. I give her pointers especially about reserving the letter S) BAYOU

("Hah! Bayou.") NIX

MEAT

(Meat?) JUTES

HUB

(she smiles) PAGODA

XI

(Eggs me on...) PUFFS

TIES

DAIS

I lost.

It is 8PM. I am in bed. She joins me.
"Okay, so they really are not the same. Are they all oak?"
"Yes, they are acorns."
"It's okay to draw them, but can you draw other things too, like you used to do?"
"Hmn, like what?"
"Like... pine cones or people?"
"I am not interested in pine cones."
"Okay, don't draw pine cones, just don't burn the acorns."

They grow up. Smart. Vanishingly small quantities.

Foggy

It is foggy.

Light drizzle.

Gray.
Chilly.

No pictures.

Just Imagine it.

It's all in your head.

My Sister Who Loved Leaves And Very Tiny Flowers

Errr...sidewalk in front of our walled house.

My mother was a gardener. She filled our yard with so many plants, trees and bushes that our house was not visible from the street. The photo on the left was taken during the early stages of our garden. There were palm trees, mango trees, bananas, an acacia tree, a variety of fruit trees like avocado, santol, star apple, guava, atis, and banaba (cherimoya). We had plots of casava, yams and sweet potatoes; a grove of sugarcane, and of course orchids and other flowering plants. We had vegetables growing among flowering plants. Her love for gardening and her green thumb was inherited by my sisters and the older of my two elder brothers. The younger of my elder brothers just loves taking photographs of trees, flowers and plants. One of our chores was to tend to the garden. My role was to pump the water from the well and carry the heavy buckets of water for my sisters to sprinkle the plots with a can by hand. We did not use a hose. The photo above is the front of our house where I grew up, this is outside the wall and gate (by the electric post). The garden spilled into the sidewalk, er, there is no more sidewalk! Below are some plant leaves and flowers I took of the potted garden in my sister Mercedes's house. These were plants that Leah loved because of their leaves.

I am not so fond of flowers. Oh I mean I love flowers. I love filling my house with flowers on vases. But I love leaves and tree trunks, bark and twigs. I love plants with miniature flowers, in fact the smaller the flower, the better. I actually love weeds with very tiny flowers that may only be examined with a magnifying glass. When my children were young, they thought I looked so weird kneeling in the yard examining miniature weed flowers. They are used to me by now. :)

So I was thrilled when one day, while my eldest sister and I were walking through her potted garden and yard, she told me that my sister Leah loved plants and trees because...

of their leaves and tiny flowers!

(The blue flower is about a third the size of the nail nail of my little finger.)

 Ah, Inday Leah loved wild plants and trees too and flowers. She had beautiful flowers and wild plants and trees in her farm. I never had the chance to visit her farm...

Perhaps, someday.

Brave

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Okay. I got that out of the way.

When others are crying,

We have to be brave.

When others are falling,

We have to be strong.

When others are sad,

We don't have to pretend.

Let's pose for a photograph.
This is the order of things.
So many times we have played these roles.
We fall into place.
Mother standing next to Father smiles.
Then Father takes a picture.

The other day...

You know, she has always been strong.

Sure gait.

Calm thoughtful, face held high.

One day her head was bowed.

I walked behind her and I saw wayward steps.

Then she braced herself and kept going. She misses you.

Him. 

Stoic.

As usual.

He says nervously,

"Yes, yes, yes. That's the way it is."

Then he gazes at the distance.

She cried. No, she sobbed.

I just remembered you were best friends.

Playmates. She lost her best playmate and her best friend.

So many of her friends came.

For you.

They are your friends because they are her friends.

The Crematorium Director approached, gently carrying the urn.
We gathered to receive your ashes. Gently, Gingerly.
Then he showed us a separate pouch. It was small.
He explained the colors.
They are beautiful. Almost gemlike. Precious.
Ah, you are indeed a gem and precious.

She! She scolded me for cutting my hair.

I have not seen her since I left you and her in September of last year.

At O'Hare, I walked towards her. No, I ran towards her.

Before she hugged or kissed me, she said: "Why did you cut your hair? You look like a boy. I saw a man earlier and I thought it was you. Who cut your hair? A barber? Next time, leave the curls and waves. Grow your hair longer. You look like a boy. Style the front but leave the waves and the curls on the back. I like your hair the way it was." 

I replied: "We'll obviously I don't look like a boy because you did not say hello to him when you saw him. Did you talk to him? I hate my waves and curls. I like my hair the way it is." She said further: "Leave the curls and the waves." I replied, "Okay. Geezzz!" 

Then we hugged and kissed. I know you will giggle at that scene. She keeps on cleaning... She has not told a joke in ages.

Him.

Stoic just like him.

He does not even mention anything.

He is even more quiet.

But he is testy. And he gazes at the distance.

And he takes photographs of the sky and the flowers.

Let me tell you something. I got held up in immigration.

The officer asked me if I was an artist. I said "No sir."

The officer asked me if I was a botanist. I said "No sir."

I told him, I am a registered nurse and I love oak.

Then he asked, "Where can I buy this book when it is published?" Then he let me go. The other officer called me "Senora! Here!" I looked back and asked "Are you referring to me sir?" The other officer said, "She is fine, let her go. I got her papers here."

Now do I look like a senora? Seriously!

The day after you left, I looked for her. 

I found her at her thesis title defense.

She is wise.

And strong.

She has lost so much.

She keeps on going. 

The young ones are all solemn.

I wonder what they think?
And feel?
They keep going.
Quietly.
Bravely.

They told me to celebrate
after prayers
On the ninth day.
It's when Tomorrow
Becomes Today.
Today.

Colors

Man! We need some color here!!!

I think you'd like that.

On second note,

Black looks good.

I know,
You prefer white.

So do I.
Black looks so...formal.

Black.
Bleak.

Yes, I am just playing.
I know you'd like that.

Let me dream of you.
Please.

I don't know if you know this.
But you have a lot of colors.

Yes.
Lots of colors.

Almost gemlike.
Yes. You are a gem.

Lynette says
We need to work for our own colors.

I miss you
Terribly.

I love you.
So.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Friday, February 17, 2012
11:47 AM

It rained yesterday.

Yesterday we went out to eat. Inday Ched, Inday Frey, Inday Bec and I. Inday Lyn was preparing her speech for next week's seminar so she stayed at home and worked. We did our best to keep our spirits up but it was most difficult. We missed you. We know you loved going out to eat. All morning, I have been ready to go to U.P. I thought I'd visit our old university campus. I thought I'd walk in front of Palma Hall up to Benitez Hall and perhaps walk in to Vinzon's Hall and buy a fresh pineapple pie. Do you remember that pineapple pie? It cost P14.00 then in 1979. When I came here last year while you were in the hospital, I stopped by Vinzon's. It cost… I already forgot, but a slice costs P45.00. I thought I'd walk towards Malcom and Bocobo Halls. The thought alone was enough to make me cry and cause my chest to burst. I miss you. I miss you terribly. I know I should go on, we shall all go on. But my heart aches. I keep looking at our old photographs, when we were children. You were so pretty and you looked so cheerful, yet so thoughtful. I remember everything that happened when those photographs were taken, except the ones where I was a baby and you were a big girl. You had beautiful smiles in the photographs. There was a photograph where you were holding a book. There was Inday Freah, you and me. We were standing together, each of us holding a book and I was looking at Nanay, while you and Inday Freah were looking at the camera. You were leaning on me. The other day your secretary told us that you got a 100 in karaoke singing "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head." We did not know that. He told us you loved to dance. He told us that you sometimes danced in your law office. He wore the socks you gave him. Sometimes I hear you laughing and giggling. Everyone is so quiet except when we start cleaning. Freah is cleaning. She is rearranging, rearranging… Last night Inday Ched and I took her to the infirmary. A fishbone got stuck in her throat.  She is okay now, the bone dislodged itself when she gagged and coughed. She is going to offer flowers at Tatay's and Nanay's grave when she goes home. I can't go. I need to go back to work soon. I hate the thought of that very long flight. We will be alright. I am just so sad. I don't want anyone to tell me to stop being sad. I miss you… There is a photograph of you holding Inday Lyn, and Inday Frey, Ernesto and I are standing close together. I am holding the plastic basket filled with plastic fruits. Remember those toys? We played "store" and we pretended to be fruit vendors. We sold plastic fruits. Inday Freah said she liked that basket, I do too. 

The skies are gray. I think it is going to rain again.

It is raining...

Farewell, Atty. Leah Padernal Adorio

Wednesday, February 15, 2012 10:30PM
Philippines

Atty. Leah Padernal Adorio

January 8, 1952 - February 10, 2012

The above photograph of my sister Leah, is one of my favorites. It was taken when she graduated at 18 years of age with a Bachelor of Arts, major in English, magna cum laude from La Salle. The following year, she graduated with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Education, major in Mathematics and minor in History, magna cum laude. She went on to study law at the University of the Philippines while teaching Algebra and Mathematics at the Philippine Science High School. She then worked as the confidential lawyer of Justice Lorna de la Fuente of the Court of Appeals. She set up her private practice as a principal partner at King and Adorio Law Offices in 1986. The Supreme Court Report Annotated (SCRA) records three of her cases as landmark cases.

We had a funeral today. We said our farewell to Inday Leah. It was a beautiful and solemn occasion culminating a wake of 4 days after her death on February 10, 2012. She was 60 years old. It was followed by an even more solemn cremation service. Last night, I took my turn at the wake. It was when I wrote the eulogy for my sister, below. Many people came to visit; law associates, classmates, sorority sisters and faculty from the University of the Philippines College of Law, the faculty of Fairfield School, Inc. where my sister was President; childhood friends, high school classmates from Negros Occidental Provincial High School (NOHS); my sisters' and brothers' friends, alumni of Philippine Science High School (PhilSci) where my sister taught Algebra and Trigonometry, faculty members of the U.P. College of Education and U.P. College of Mathematics, the R.Ns who took very good care of her when she was ill,  my friend Dave from Oregon and also a friend of our family, my sisters' clients and their relatives, our cousins and their children. My family is grateful to all of them for their prayer offerings and words of comfort and visits. It was so heartwarming to see and meet people who loved and admired my sister. She was much loved. We had a short procession from the chapel where her body laid in state to the internment chapel and crematorium. Lynette, our youngest, led the Scripture readings. Our eldest sister, Mercedes, asked me to deliver the eulogy in behalf of our family:

Good morning.

Inday Leah. Atty Leah Padernal Adorio. There are very few people, the mere mention of their names, brings comfort in my mind and warmth in my heart. My sister Leah is one.

Thank you for joining this solemn occasion with my family. I think most of us are here to say goodbye to Inday Leah. Instead, however, I would like you to join us in celebrating her life. My sister is at peace. She has achieved perfection, for perfection happens when we are no longer saddled with mortal and temporary needs. I am not trying to deny that my sister is gone. I will no longer hear her voice. I will no longer be able to receive a letter or email from her. She will no longer be able to give me advice. I will no longer hear her laughter.

Yet the pain and sadness of not being able to experience those things any longer cannot make me cry, for my mind is now filled with memories and my heart has carved a permanent place for her. I request you to please remember my sister, not for her last days of physical discomfort but for the beautiful and good life she led and shared with each and everyone of us.

If there was one who was truly good, kind, honest and beautiful, my sister Leah was so. Since I have known her, my mind recalls a truly caring, loving and giving soul. A few months after she started her law practice, I received word that she was doing a lot of pro bono work. I called her from New Jersey and encouraged her to be practical and not be reluctant to charge for her legal services. I could still see her smile as she gently replied "Nene Cecille, my clients cannot afford to pay but they deserve justice." She really believed she ought to give back to the people for sending her to law school at the University of the Philippines. "I should give back to them." She said.

I could not argue with that. My sister was a brilliant, generous person. Most of all she was honest and just. Sometimes, I do want to cry because I truly miss her. I miss her laughter. She had a way of laughing without opening her mouth. Her voice was gentle, her demeanor respectful. Yet, I knew no one more brave, more tenacious, and determined. She was a warrior. Even after she accepted her faith, she did not give up hope.

She was a bright star whose brilliance was enough to illuminate those behind her footsteps. I was so proud and happy when my professors asked me how I was related to her. I knew that question already increased my grade point average. When she sensed that injustice was about to happen, she was not afraid to point it out. I was so proud when she was cited for contempt of court. My friends who read the transcript marveled at her courage and steadfast stand for the principles of justice. When she was at the hospital, she brought some work papers with her. I asked her to let go and think of herself, but it was difficult for her to do.

One day when I was alone with her she said "Nene Cecille, I did not realize how nice it is to just think of myself." Most of her life she thought of the needs of others. I need my sister. I need to be able to love her because loving her is such an honor and a privilege. And so my heart has carved a place for her. Please join me in sharing that honor. Keep her spirit alive in your hearts and mind. She was truly a giving soul. Even her coffin will be donated to the home of the elderly after the services.

The world is truly a better place because Inday Leah was here.

Thank you!

We had cremation services for my sister following the Holy Mass. It was a very solemn, sacred and beautiful ceremony, filled with much reverence. Relatives and friends stayed for the service. The crematorium staff presented the cradle that would hold my sisters' body. We were asked to fill it with fragrant orchid flowers to act as a bed for my sister's body. They presented us with a cover for the cradle and we were asked to write messages. I drew an acorn and and oak tree and signed it with love with my husband's, my children's and my name. Plans for a memorial in the form of an annual outstanding achievement award in Mathematics at NOHS in our sister's honor is in progress.

My blog lost its most loyal reader.

So Long, Our Beloved Sister

Leah Padernal Adorio

January 8, 1952 - February 10, 2012

Beloved Forever.

Our dearest loving and most beloved sister, Leah passed away peacefully on February 10,2011 after a brave battle with lung cancer. My sisters and my brothers were at her bedside.

Thank you to our relatives and friends for your help and support. Thank you to her oncologist, who was her former high school student at the Philippine Science High School for her loving service and care. Thank you to her former students at the Philippine Science High School, her law partner Atty. Juanito King, my sisterfriend Bella Sinclair, my sister's high school classmates, and to everyone who offered kindness, support and prayers. Thank you to her private registered nurses' tender loving care, for making our sister's last few months comfortable at home and at the hospital.

Our sister was a beloved mathematics teacher and later a brilliant lawyer who championed justice especially for those with the least representation. Many years ago I told my sister to stop offering her services for free. She replied, "I owe it to the people for sending me to law school. The poor deserved justice too." Through her, they had the best representation. She was tenacious in her quest for justice. The world is a better place because she was here. Thank you Inday Leah. We love you. You are in our hearts and minds forever. So long. Tsup!