Friday, June 22, 2012

An Empty Space

How to fill an 8"x10" space in an 11"x14" area: I challenged myself to draw this image in two hours. I failed. It took me three hours. I was furiously squiggling by the third hour and was so tired that I had to continue drawing while lying on low Fowlers position on the couch. My daughter ran her fingers through my hair to soothe me and rubbed my shoulders and back while I filled the background with squiggles. The squiggles on the edges are rough but I had to stop because I had to cook dinner. That was fun. Honestly, the drawing is not finished. I still have to draw miniature pictures on the white floating boards. The following is a tribute to my beloved sister Leah. 

An Empty Space

Everyday, I go on a journey 
To an empty space filled with pain and longing
upon which I stumble in the daytime
and fall into at night with nothing to anchor me.
The sorrow slowly devours me
until the tears swell 
and the tightness of my heart becomes real.
My heart aches and I scream in quiet anguish
until a million floating flecks of lights come to rescue me.
Each flicker holds a memory of you -
smiling, laughing, gentle words, intense gaze
a flash of energy and steely courage.
Slowly I am buoyed until I land safely
back where I started,
yet different because you are no longer here.
I hope my memory does not fail me
But if so, I will blindly follow my my heart
with every beat that proclaims 
I love you.
I love you so much and I miss you.
I feel lost without you.
I know, I know, I must go on.
But once in a while let me make this journey
if only to remind me that my life is full
and the space is not empty after all
because you dwell in it.

I am told of one April night,
you loved watching the fireflies hover around the bamboo grove at night.

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