Bored

Normally, I'd rearrange the furniture but tonight I rearranged my desktop before wiping it clean.
Update:
Okay! I am not bored. I am stressed. That is why I am rearranging things.

Happy Birthday Deborah!!!

I don’t profess to know everything. As much as I want to know the reason why some things happen, there are times I am resigned to just accepting and enjoying them. Here’s one of the few of them - finding a gem in the blogs:

Today is her birthday. She is a terrific human being, extremely gentle and kind, intelligent and talented, gracious, compassionate and unselfish. (True)

She is tall and beautiful has very long legs which served her well as a dancer. She is a beloved and loving wife, proud mother of a beautiful smart daughter and handsome brave son. Her husband is brainy and brawny but loses bets intentionally to help friends and neighbors. (True)

One day when she was a teenager, she was late for dance practice, so she hopped on an elephant and rode it to the dance hall. (Tall Tale)

But she was really a dancer and now a poet. (True)

Deborah, the Pachyderm Loving Dancer Speeding to Dance School (Ces's Interpretation)

My Dearest SisterFriend (True)

I love you.(Very true)

This is for you. (True)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dearest Deborah!!!

Tsup! Yowza!!!

Moleskine Drawings - My Teenage Home

Pihak Suba. Ballpoint pen on Moleskine ruled notebook. Click on image for enlarged view. The image above and the following article is a republication of a post I did on October 2, 2007. This article was also published by the Moleskinerie website. I drew this scene from memory but I transposed my parent's walled house on the right lower corner of the page which was not located at Pihak Suba but at a suburb thirteen kilometers away. I also drew the same house with details of my Mother's garden below. These are both ballpoint drawings which I used to do while doing other chores, waiting, walking or while on the phone. I once bumped into a parked car because I was drawing while walking. I also walked into a glass wall while drawing!

On the left, with my brother (the younger of two brothers) and three of five sisters with Mary (who pinch me and my younger sister) and her baby daughter whose skin was white as bond paper. The photograph was taken by either my Father or older brother Daniel. This was in the backyard of our house in the city before we moved to the suburb house where I spent my teenage years. My siblings all grew up to be successful and accomplished professionals. Clockwise: (Standing) Lec now a lawyer, Frey now a RN, Toto' an electrical engineer and mathematics professor, Lyn now a MD and then me.

PIHAK SUBA

The sun had barely risen and already the people of Pihak Suba from the adults to the children, were up. Pihak Suba in Ilonggo means "The Other Side of the River". I always considered this place very mysterious. Mother forbade us to go there and the only time I disobeyed her was the time one of the twins drowned. Even then, we did not cross the bridge. The accident happened downriver near the delta where the muck from the city drainage emptied. The night the city burned, my parents gathered my sisters and brothers, all eight of us. They instructed us to wait by the river banks, and only to cross the bridge when the fire was visible. We never did, in fact we never left the house because the fire stopped two blocks from our house.

.
Pihak Suba was a village of fishermen. The men had dark skin and gaunt faces. When my Mother needed help in the house, she sent word to my aunt who sent word to a couple of women who lived in Pihak Suba. Our laundrywoman, Mary lived in Pihak Suba. She looked mean and when Mother was not looking and my older sisters were not around, Mary pinched us. I don't know why she thought she could pinch me and my younger sister but since Mother left us in her watch sometimes, I thought we had to obey her. My younger sister and I would hide up in the "attic" which was actually an overhead closet where she stored the linens and extra clothes. Mary always brought along her little daughter whose skin was white as bond paper. Sooner rather than later we told our Mother about Mary pinching us and Mother was not pleased at all. We saw her talking to Mary who looked defiant and was telling lies. When she left, my younger sister and I ran up to the verandah and when Mary walked away, we stuck out our tongues at her and made horn gestures with our fingers.

.

In the river bank area we called "Rodriguez Baybay" (pronounced bye-bye, meaning river) was a cluster of very modest homes. It almost had a slum-like atmosphere because houses were erected without any pattern or consideration for avenues or walkways. There were no roads, just zigzag paths or maze-like alleys, except it was not filthy. The people who lived there swept the bare grounds with broomsticks made of bundled ribs of the coconut leaves. They also had children who went to college who looked very neat in pressed skirts or pants and long-sleeved starched white blouses.

.

During the high tide, the water flowed beneath the floors of the elevated houses. Some houses were on stilts and others propped up just a few inches from the highest tide level. One day we visited my uncle, my father's older brother who lived in Baybay. I went to the river with my cousins but it looked so scary with the big rocks and the pounding waves. Mother warned me not to wade in the water because she said it was filthy. The bridge was just nearby and we climbed it and started walking towards the middle of the bridge. It was a very scary bridge. It was not very sturdy and the planks were made of bamboo trunks and they were not evenly lashed. I never crossed the bridge. Beyond the bridge were houses on stilts and coconut groves. There were fishponds everywhere and barnacles attached to the bamboo trunks that served as boundary posts. I heard they used the river to drown puppies and kittens that pet owners could not afford to care for and therefore thought of the act as a form of euthanasia.

.

The irony of Pihak Suba and Rodriguez BayBay was the fact that the long streets Libertad Street, Lizares Avenue, Rodriguez Avenue and Alunan Avenue that led to these areas were lined with mansions, huge homes and estates belonging to the city's old rich families.

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My Beloved Button Pusher

Renee, My Beloved Button Pusher. My friend Renee is ill. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. Above: Renee, Ces and Bella Sinclair in permanent pigment ink.

My daughter and I designed the 2009 Mental Ninja Awards and I gave them here on my blog on my blog on April 28th, 2009:

Ces's 2009 Mental Ninja Awards

.

HIYAH!
.

"I am convinced I am the only conservative and registered Republican visitor of the Darling Renee. That makes me feel very special, which now means that quite possibly I am presenting this award to some liberals. What can I say? I have high ideals and I try to overlook the shortcomings of these beloved friends of mine for they are brainiacs and mental ninjas, artistic and creative minds and word warriors."

...and I listed the recipients. Well, the ensuing comments will tell you why Renee is my beloved button pusher, and why blogging has given me so much laughter and joy and now sadness...

Comments Unedited:

‪Chris‬ said...
Oh, Thank you, Ces!!
You're right... I AM a mental ninja!

(takes one to know one!)
April 28, 2009


‪Baino‬ said...
Haha! You are hilarious girl. Hey, we rise above politics! Not that we can do much to change them anyway. Rather fancy myself as a Ninja, mental or otherwise!
Heeeeeee-Yah! *slinks silently into the night*
April 28, 2009


‪Diana Evans‬ said...
oh wow Ces!!! what a wonderful thing to be called!!! a Mental Ninja!!! this is the coolest thing ever.....

I think you are the head of all the Mental Ninjas...and Chris is right.....it takes one to know one....hehehehe

I am so grateful to know you and so happy you pop by!!!

When we were kids ...my brother and I would act out Ninja Movies in our forest...we had ninja stars and all kinds of fun stuff...it was a riot and we still laugh today...especially the day our neighbor found my brother in his Ninja outfit climbing a tree....what a great memory!!!!
Hugs
Diana
April 28, 2009


‪Manon Doyle‬ said...
Thank you Miss Ces for my Mental Ninja award! I'm so very honored! I'm so lucky to be in such fine company! Yes... I am a liberal but I love my conservative friends.... most of them anyway...lol!
April 28, 2009


‪Dusik‬ said...
Wow!!!!! Thank you Ces! I am soooo excited!!!! (Btw I can't vote in the us either!!! And no LOL they are definitely not fairies :)))
April 28, 2009


‪Kaili (Billy and Button)‬ said...
Wooo! Thanks Ces! Ive always known I was a mental ninja, now I can officially wear the title. Thanx for the advice too, I am learning! What can I say? Im young and still finding out who I am!
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
HIIIIII-YAH!

OMG, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this! Em surely is a mental ninja, daughter of the MASTER ninja herself. I bow down to you, oh great one.

You will be happy to know, blind one, that my last two votes were rejected because...well, because I had to declare where and when I last voted and I couldn't remember. HA! Talk about mental! 

Are you going to take back my badge?

Kung Fu Hustle is one of my FAVORITES!
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
I thought I am the only woman who loves Kung Fu Hustle. My first blog had Kung Fu Hustle clips and photos of the Landlady all over the place. I wiah I had her powers!
April 28, 2009


‪BT‬ said...
Oh Ces, you are so funny. I love my award. I rather stand out as your gardening friend, so I think I am a mental ninja too. Or maybe I'm just mental!! Yeeeeee-ha! I was smiling away to Kung Fu Fighting. I used to dance to this with a good friend of mine at many a party. (Actually, my first husband's first wife). Thank you thank you.
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
HAHAHAHA! The landlady is just AWESOME! Can you imagine?
April 28, 2009


‪Lizzy Frizzfrock‬ said...
Ah well... Renee says you're an ok kiddo, so I'll let my yellow dog self continue to visit. Who knows, you may convert to the ways of the truly informed, hehehe. Pretty funny post for a Republican, I enjoyed it!
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
My favorite is the chase. I like the way she runs!
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Why Lizzy, didn't you know? The Republicans invented humor? Haha!
April 28, 2009



‪Ces‬ said...
You are welcome Chris and definitely you are aMental Ninja with a great sense of humor!

Oh I can see you as a ninja in your pajamas!

Oh wow Diana, I bet you fought for justice and the Canadian Way too? Did you have a chako too? I am glad to know you too Diana. You are a good and beautiful egg!

Ah Manon, life is not perfect and I have learned to adjust. Hahaha!

Dusik good for you because it will be a shame if they were. I love those beautiful tinies.

Kaili, go ahead! You look great in black!!! :)))))

That is a shame Bella. You should have declared yourself an illegal for surely your votes would have counted!

Oh BT You are a lovely mental with a verdant and fragrant touch.

Ha Lizzy, that depends on what type of information you refer. It may well be misinformation you know. Lots of them floating everywhere through teleprompters. Ooops! What telepropmter? We don't use no stinkini' teleprompters here. Hahah!

Congratulations everyone. I am glad you liked it. Had fun designing it with the Em.
April 28, 2009


‪aimee‬ said...
oh you weren't kidding!! there really was such a thing as a mental ninja award. how funny! and from you, ces, i'm honored!
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
You're welcome Aimee!
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
Ces this is so fucking awesome.

I LOVE IT.

I am laughing and laughing. 

Some people I don't know but the ones I do. I am counting on them.

Ces anyways I don't think you and Rush have a lot in common. I think you are faking this republican bullshit to get our goats. You are so brilliant and I don't think brilliant and republican go together. I mean isn't that an oxymoron?

And Tessa, forget it she is liberal all the way.

Karin, well we can take that one to the bank -- liberal.

Bella, yeah in your dreams. Liberal.

Baino, with that mouth like mine, they would kick her out of the party while they went to church and then screwed the dog.

Bjornik, who I adore is a total liberal.

Once again, you are one of us, just admit it.

Manon is Canadian so right there she is liberal.

Diana is so beautiful she could be the republican ideal of blond and blue eyes, but she paints like a free spirit.

Kaili young and beautiful and a young mom, Ces don't you try to corrupt her.

Oh my God I so love this. 

Ces you are so incredible and I seriously don't know what any of us would do without you.

I LOVE CES.

p.s. Ces at least Obama is reading a teleprompter instead of pulling random nonsense out of his ass.

har har har.

Thank God I can't vote there.

By the way in Canada we have Harper who is a total shit like Bush was.

Love you. Renee xoxoxo
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
Me neither. Don't know what any of us would do without you.

xoxo
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Oh dear lord, it's a good thing my love for you is not just some phony blog display. I will overlook your offensive statement and excuse it.

"Ces anyways I don't think you and Rush have a lot in common. I think you are faking this republican bullshit to get our goats. You are so brilliant and I don't think brilliant and republican go together. I mean isn't that an oxymoron?"

Never call me a fake, please.

I love you, still, and always will.
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
The world will be such a better place then Bella because everyone will be a Democrat and liberal right? :)
April 28, 2009


‪Kaili (Billy and Button)‬ said...
Yes, I do look great in black..(??) I dont know what we're talking about anymore!
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
Baby, you're the yin to my yang.
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Kaili dear, cover your ears, you beautiful, lovely person. Renee is corrupting you! Look the right way Kaili. You'll be safe there.

Anyway, RENEE DEAR! AND BELLA TOO!!! I am so happy and glad you accepted the reward because I really think you two are mental ninjas and I love you both anyway.
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
By the way I forgot to mention our darling Linda because I was hoping you weren't insinuating that she is a Re-----.

Linda is a liberal no doubt about it. As L = Linda Liberal.

I need Bella in on this one. Bella..... I will go get her.

Bella: Ces says she never ever faked an orgasm.

Now my question Ces is: Never? Even when you are like counting the dust in the cobwebs. And it is taking forever. And your like 'come off it already.' Thinking if I just squirm and add in a little 'oooo ooo awwww' it will hurry up. Never?

Bella, what are your thoughts.

Mind you Ces is a total spitfire.

And Ces the word fake was totally not about you. You are as real and as genuine and as magnificent as they come. oooo ooo awwww.

xoxo Renee 

Love Renee xoxoxo
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAA!

Oh, yeah, oh yeah, that's it! More, more, more!!!
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
See? You just proved my point!

Kaili, don't let her corrupt you dear.

No really Renee, I don't know how to say this to you. I suppose I am a great disappointment to you because you really are liberal and you love that stinking B.O.

I am not going to use my blog as a pltform to advance my political views because I just want this to be an art blog and a blog for self expression. If it so offends you that I am conservative, then I don't know what else to say. I don't have any intention of influencing you because most certainly I have acknowledged that you are a mental ninja. I have the utmost respect for you but I am sorry I will disappoint you - I am conservative. I believe in conservative values.
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
and what are you going to do if Linda is not a L? Hmn
April 28, 2009


‪Kaili (Billy and Button)‬ said...
Im being corrupted! All I wanted to do was innocently share my art with other art lovers, and Im find myself in the middle of a sordid conversation on politics and orgasms! Shame on you all! :P Anyway you're out of league ladies, I'll leave you all to it! Ta ta! xx
April 28, 2009


‪Kaili (Billy and Button)‬ said...
**I meant Im out of you're league...so I'm leaving you all to it.. **silly keyboard that doesnt type!
April 28, 2009


‪Kaili (Billy and Button)‬ said...
I mean youre out of my league...duh! Im going to be quiet now
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
See, that just proved me right.
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
ha hahar har har

You are sensational.

I laughed so hard I was hitting my desk at the stinking B.O.

You are the best Ces.

Now about the faking it. We are twins, because in reality I would not fake it either. I would be 'no, i'm not doing it, forget it, not now, or I'm done, now you be done or else it is done.'

Love you, you Mental Ninja.

Now the question is for my love Bella, what was that about more, more, give it to me baby, kind of thing going on.

Okay. I need to knock myself out.

Tomorrow is Nathan's birthday so we will celebrate tomorrow.

And for the tutu. I am looking for one of those for Josephine's 2nd birthday on June 1st (yours June 2nd). What do you think of either a blue one or a black one. I think it would be cute with a little tee-shirt.

Love Renee xoxoxo
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Don't get flusterred dear. I won't let renee corrupt you.
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
Okay, I love my Ninja award, I love your little face like a pixie on your banner, I love your insight, I love your honesty, and I love that you love Bella like I do.

Good night and God bless you.

xoxo
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Goodnight Renee, you are welcome.
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
Oh that little tiny face like Josephines. I could just kiss it all up.

Of course I didn't smoke. You are so funny.

I mean I smoked when I was about 13. But I didn't just smoke after my orgasm with you and Bella.

Love Renee xoxo
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
Ces is Em your daughter? She is a beautiful Ninja indeed.

xoxoxo

How is the guitar going.
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
You are too much!
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
Keep in mind, that was a fake cig to go with her fake O.
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
You two, I thank you so much. I was not feeling well this evening and Bella you tried your best to cheer me up and then Renee came along with her liberal democrat nonesense schpiel so I feel so much better. Thank you guys. I love you both very much.
April 28, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
Ces what goes around comes around and how many times you have made me feel good when I felt like shit, well dear friend. I can't even count.

Karma baby.

If we, as in Bella, you and me were in a room and my sisters joined us. Oh my God it would be off the hook.

Love you. Renee xoxox
April 28, 2009


‪Bella Sinclair‬ said...
*Tsup* *Tsup* to both of you.
April 28, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Bella, The Kissing Mental Ninja - PRICELESS!!!
April 29, 2009


‪Kaili (Billy and Button)‬ said...
Ces, No offence taken at all! You girls are crazy but you're real! Its all good. Kaili xx
April 29, 2009


‪Lavender‬ said...
Aw Ces, Thanks for making me a Mental Ninja - it sounds so much better than just 'Plain Mental' ROFL! Also I got a big laugh when Kung Fu fighting started playing - I havent heard that in ages....Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts while Ive been lurking in the murk, you are a Sweetie!

PS: Kudos Em! Nice clean design - two thumbs up!!
April 29, 2009


‪Bimbimbie‬ said...
Tsup*!* Ces at your diplomatic best I see lol ... I'll happily be a member of your cheer squad ... Hiyah*!*
April 29, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
The Aussies came together, yeah!

Thank Kaili. Just turn to the right.

Lavender, that award couldn't be more appropriate for you. Right on! Kungfu Fighting!

ALLRIGHT Bimbimbie! There's always room for you at the Ces camp. 

Thank you for accepting the award ladies.
April 29, 2009


‪linda cardina‬ said...
********hiiii yaaaa*********ninja stars ever where!!!look out!!!!****** 
ces u FREESPIRIT!!!??funny, mental ninja of all ninjas, super talented, nude painting painter, tree huggin and kissin...i'm sure, red lipstick and red finger nail polish wearin', cooliest of all cool gemini chicks IS REALLY a stiff shirt, blinder wearn', bullshitn' republican!?????? ces adorio and right wing!? i have one word for u. oxyMORON!

but hey! have a nice day, thank u for the certificate and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U and enjoy every minute of our friendship!!! MUAH! linda
April 29, 2009


‪Tessa‬ said...
b-b-b-b-b-Barney FRANK! Good Grief, woman, the only bloody barney I associate with is of the Rubble variety!

Ces, you darling! Thank you for putting me amongst the ranks of the great and the good...and the downright brilliant. I'm going to go into that dazzling yellow field of rape behind the house and dance like a gypsy. Right this minute! Thank you!
April 29, 2009


‪Tessa‬ said...
Designed by Em? Em is a genius.
April 29, 2009


‪Karin‬ said...
Thank you Ces!! HIIIIIII Yah, I am an honored liberal who loves many conservatives out there in the world - especially when they are as talented as you. Art definitely rises above politics :)
April 29, 2009


‪Lizzy Frizzfrock‬ said...
My gosh... this just goes on & on. I'm now lying on the floor laughing SOOOO hard. You guys are just too funny!!!
xoxoxo
Lizzy
April 29, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Linda, I don't know what to say. Girl! Whew!!!

Barney Rubble is a thousand times more desirable that Barney Frank. You are definitely right Tessa. Thank you. You are welcome! She gave me the idea. She wants to be credited for her idea otherwise she won't give me anymore. See, now you know who the real brain is.

It does not really bother me Karin but I think it bother Renee very much. Maybe she just wants an excuse to swear.

Lizzy, Renee and Bella are a hoot! I love them very much! Thank you.
April 29, 2009


‪ValGalArt‬ said...
Well you take the cake with this award Ces! This is the funniest award I have received and I will treasure it :) The music and graphics are fun and hilarious and I love your new avatar too!
April 29, 2009


‪Ces‬ said...
Hey Val, I am glad you like it! Thank you!
April 29, 2009


‪Sarah‬ said...
Oh Ces I'm so deeply touched!!! Thank you so very much - am speechless and in tears!!
Namaste, Sarah
May 26, 2009


‪Deborah‬ said...
HA! This was great! It should come as no surprise that I am a registered Republican...I have an American Flag and an Army Flag flying out front every single day.
June 03, 2009


‪Deborah‬ said...
Dearest Ces, sorry for being so late in picking this up. I am ever so honored to be considered a "hopeful" ninja teehee. However, I am very mental... **blows kisses** Deborah
June 18, 2009


‪Marcus Hadlock‬ said...
I want a ninja award... :)
October 12, 2009


‪Renee‬ said...
I can't believe I use to be fun once upon a time.

xoxoxo
January 10, 2010

P.S. I will distribute the next batch of Mental Ninja Awards soon. Stay tuned.

‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬‪‬

Renee's Hardy Har Har Gypsy Wagon

Renee dearest,
I am sitting beside you and holding your hand...

Ces and Bella Riding On Renee's Hardy Har Har Gypsy Wagon
9"x12" Pigment ink and graphite pencil on Bristol Board

Renee never minces her words...

Ces‬ said... Isn't it wonderful to imagine? It is our only escape from the painful reality sometimes.

 Renee, will you please do a tarot reading on me? The last time I had it done I burst out laughing. It was so funny. The reader had a wild imagination. 

I want to illustrate the queens. January 27, 2010 10:39 AM

Renee‬ said... Lukewarm are you crazy, it is fantastic.

Tarot card said Ces is not unbiased on her own art and misses her masterpieces.

Come join the caravan of gypsies. You will have to stay in my wagon as we won't be able to be separated.

xoxox Wednesday, January 27, 2010 11:29:00 AM


Ces‬ said... BTW, these gypsies are real HOTTIES! The ones who moved next door to us ruined the house, stole electricity from us, left their grandmother when they fled in the middle of the night and the teenage girls asked if they can take a shower at our house because they did not pay their water and electricity bills. They also signed for every UPS delivery in the block. January 27, 2010 10:43 AM


Ces‬ said... I will stay in your wagon and I will draw a full set of Tarot cards for you. Can I bring my art supplies BUT I will only come if you take Bella, Manon, Deborah, Silke and Linda in your wagon too. January 27, 2010 11:35 AM ‪


Renee‬ said... Okay so the deal is off, I can only have you and Bella.

The others can be in the wagon right beside ours.

xoxox


Ces‬ said... Okay Okay! Just Bella and me with you then. But can we bring our art supplies and Manon has to be near us because she has the bag of Sun Chips. January 27, 2010 11:42 AM ‪

Renee‬ said... I'm still cracking up over that alligator.

Well it is settled you and Bella are gypsies 17 and 18.

Also you will have to be ready for me to say things like what a remarkable banner and I see that the bush is growing exactly where it should on that lady.

xoxox Wednesday, January 27, 2010 3:00:00 PM


Ces‬ said... Oooh Renee! I am drawing our wagon. Yes! I will draw our caravan with you, me and sweet Bella! I have to start it and then give it to Bella to finish. I will ask her if we can collaborate on it like we did the last time with your Birthday Party caravan!!! OOOOOOHHHH! I will draw the landscape and let Bella draw us! Oh of course she has no idea I am volunteering her and I should be ready for the fallout because she is swamped right now. She's going to kill me! January 27, 2010 3:11 PM


Renee‬ said... You know our darling Bella will only kill you in a good way. Now I love this idea but before you pick up a stick how is your hand.

xoxoxo

You always think of my drawing hand and tell me to take care! If others tell me that blog relationships are not real and it's all in my head, then why is my heart so heavy and aching? You are my beloved friend, my button pusher, my inspiration, my guide, my reality check, my muse. You laugh like no one.

"I have been laughing so hard I was hitting my desk with my hand. hardy har har."

Riding On Renee's Soaring Gypsy Wagon

My dearest Renee,
Go sweetly into the night
Where you will glide among the clouds
and settle in the vast sky.
Be the new owner of the sun
and spread its rays to everyone
who looks up
just as you so lovingly shed light down here.
Set aside a star for me
so that the first northerly star I see blinking
I will think it's you winking at me.
Grab the moonbeams and let them illuminate the night
for Bella to see before she closes her eyes.
Renee, my beloved friend,
You are always the fast one.
While others' wagons follow the ruts,
Yours soars.
Your dove flies higher,
Your butterflies are lighter.
Bella and I
and our doves and butterflies
will ride and fly with you
on your Hardy Har Har wagon
until the heavenly air suffocates us
while it sets you
FREE!
Close your eyes and rest now.
Peace will reign.
I love you, Renee.

For Silke

Dear Silke,

Bella Sinclair and I designed this award in honor of Renee last year. I awarded it on April 7th, which I officially coined as Sisterfriend Day. You of all, deserve this. If Renee finds out that you did not have this she will say something like "Ces, you need to correct that immediately." You may read about distribution of the award here and here is the award's origin and history.

God bless our dearest Renee.

Love,
Ces

You are so weEvil

Sitophilus Granarius. Weevil. Graphite pencil on bristol Board. Click on image for enlarged view. I am drawing more parasites and will post them in the future. I will also need to practice drawing portraits because I may have to draw some parasitic politicians :-)

Art Journal, November 17, 2007: This weevil looks like an alien. A weevil is a beetle. It has an elongated head with a snout called rostrum which has bladelike mandibles on its tip. The rostrum bores through fibrous coat of the grain and the mandibles crush the kernel. Wow! Just like a Texas chainsaw and a sledgehammer combination. This weevil is emerging after it burrowed into a wheat grain. Female weevils insert their eggs in cavities dug out of the kernel. Remember that! The weevil's compound eyes are set behind the elbowed antennae. The enlarged first thoracic segment is called a pronotum and fits like a bullet-proof vest at the base of the head and encloses the first pair of legs.

Once I bought a box of pasta from a grocery store. When I opened it it had weevils inside. Since I stored the box of pasta in the pantry, I had to clean out the pantry and rearrange its contents alphabetically...okay, I'm just kidding about the alphabetical arrangement. My Mother-in-law told me to put bay leaves on the shelves. so I did. I never found weevils again. I threw the box of pasta away but it was interesting to see the weevils commit suicide by jumping from the box into a bowl of water when I put bay leaves on the bottom. of the box. Sometimes rice grains are infested by weevils. Now I was raised to treat rice in a most respectful manner, but I don't think I will keep a 5-pound bag of rice that has been infested by weevils even if the bay leaf treatment works because of this: Female weevils insert their eggs in cavities dug out of the kernel. Oh goodie! Here's a photograph of a weevil.

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Arthropoda

Class: Insecta

Order: Coleoptera
Suborder: Polyphaga
Infraorder: Cucujiformia

Family: Cuculionidae

Genus: Sitophilus

Species: S. granarius

Illustration Friday - Propagated

In microbiology "propagated" is equivalent to infected. I thought of posting illustrations of pediculosis humanus (body lice) but it's too early in the morning to disseminate itching and scratching sensations. So, I will post about plant pathology - a plant stem propagated by aphodoidea.

Aphids (Aphidoidea). o.5 mm Mechanical pencil drawing on 9"x12 Bristol Board. It is true that a Ladybug can consume as much as 2000 aphids in its lifetime. If you are interested in more aphid stories, check this site.

Art Journal, November 2007: I was looking for some inspiration for my next art project. It was going to be either a painting or a larger pen and ink drawing. I started reading and somehow I found this book we've had for years at our home library. It is a book of images scanned with the electron microscope. I was looking at images of bacteria, viruses, protozoans, parasites like tapeworms and liver flukes. They looked like aliens and little monsters. I thought perhaps I should adapt a drawing of these images while I ponder what to do next. My children asked me why I was drawing these primitive animals. My drawing provided a good background for our zoological discussion.

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The images show a group of aphids (Aphodoidea) attacking a plant stem. These aphids drawn on a 9"x12" Bristol Board is x175 magnification. You can see the mechanical pen I used to draw the aphids. Drawing the aphids gave me an opportunity to learn more about their anatomy. These wingless aphids are feeding on a stem. The aphid on the right upper corner has penetrated the stem with its proboscis and is drinking the sugary plant juice within the stem. The two little tubes on the posterior end of each aphid are called cornicles. They secrete wax and pheromones. The segmented antennae in the front end are positioned in front of the lateral compound eyes. Aphids are plant lice. So before you pick an aphid from a plant with your bare hands, consider this image. An aphid may get stuck underneath your fingernails!

On being stoic: For the past several days I have been pondering how I will go about being stoic. I thought it would be better if I announced it, tantamount to declaring my commitment. I told a few close friends and they all looked at me like I came from Mars. “Are you okay?” “Are you sick?” “Are you serious?” “Yeah right!” “You will fail.” No one thought I could pull it through. One of them told me privately that it would be like me getting a lobotomy. I even told the Viking, poster boy for stoicism and he asked “Why?” I gave him my reasons. He listened then he said that I will be a different person. Finally he said “Whatever makes you happy.”

That’s my clue that our conversation has reached an impasse. I rephrased it and asked him this “Would you rather I remained calm than explode when I get mad or not get too excited over the smallest thing?” He replied “No, I don’t want you to raise your voice but you do anyway, and I like to see you happy.” “But I want to change.” “Well honey, don’t yell but you take the good with the bad. You get mad intensely but you also love intensely. I love you.” Damn it! That set my heart afire and my mind racing. Then he played Don William’s song “I Believe In You.” Then we danced. When the kids were younger we used to dance to this song, all four of us together, we sandwiched the children between us. That’s one of the ways we propagated our love for one another.

Skywatch Friday: When Lost, Look Up!

Last Week:

Thursday Morning:

Today:

Sky:1 - Traffic:0

Back At Play

Back at play!!! My blog is public once again. I spent a significant amount of time deleting large files yesterday. It will take up to 24 hours for some of the files to be deleted. May heavens forgive me: Those who want to steal my art can stumble upon themselves as they grab my art before they are gone and may they fall and never get up, and may two large fire ants crawl up their pants and bite them where it hurts, and may a cockroach crawl in their ear in the middle of the night. I hate punishing the good 80% because of the rotten 20%. In some instances I remember why I intentionally posted large files out there. My blog will look funny in a few days with images missing. It will be a lengthy clean-up.

I am a self-taught painter and illustrator. I did not go to any design or art school. The only training I had was elementary art class. So I experiment with techniques. I did not use to be a squiggler. I was a line, stippling and filler illustrator. You get the point? One day I was drawing the “Spring” part of the Seasons Series. I started underlining the rock formations with checkered lines to delineate curves and edges. Then I filled them with squiggles. So I was so excited to share that discovery. I posted huge files to illustrate the details. I believe in sharing my art. I think I am generous but the idea of someone taking my drawing without permission is disheartening.

I invite anyone interested in my art to ask my permission to use them for non-profit use. If you are a not-for-profit organization, please let me know if your organization would like to use one of my images. Last year it was my honor to let an organization use one of my paintings for their Christmas cards. The representative emailed me and asked if they could use one of the online files. I replied that it was not clear enough so I sent a higher resolution image. She sent me a copy. They provide college scholarships to young women in rural Philippines . It was my honor to help them. If you are for profit and stealing my ideas, may you choke on your own spit. Okay, that’s too strong, how about your computer will crash. Yes.

My dear friends, I have read your comments. Thank you very much. You gave me good insight, advice and support. I think Eleonora may have a very good idea. The Internet is exciting and offers opportunity for wonderful connections and learning. It also is a chance for exposure to unpalatable activities. I have no control over those people. I appreciate the offer for the army boyz my dearest Deborah. Hahahahaha!

I will continue sharing my art. I enjoy doing it. But there won’t be 3.5 MB files anymore. I freed up a large chunk of my Blogger photo storage quota on Piccasa. Check your album settings out there.

In the next several days I will be posting technical drawings, none of those intense and fiery emotional paintings and drawings. I am on a path to stoicism.

Temporary Invitation

Very sorry about the invite. Some strange activities happening in my blog. Someone has been accessing my blog for hours everyday for the past month. They go to the same pages: Pen and Ink drawings, Seasons Series, Acorns, etc. Some of these drawings have full resolution. I need to edit some of these posts to reduce the images. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Who would have thunk?

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I am tired of editing. I am actually going straight to Picasa. If you upload your pictures directly to Picasa (Blogger) make sure you set your privacy settings. It may take me longer to clean up my blog so I may keep it private for a while.

The Ivory Babies

The Ivory Babies. Oil on 30"x40" gallery stretched canvas.

I live and die with every painting or theme drawing. When they are done I am mostly numb at the finish line. Or I am empty once again. When I paint, I immerse myself in the intensity and depths of my thoughts and feelings, awash in the ebb and flow of emotions that sometimes physically make me ill, give me pain, make me tense and sad or extremely anxious, agitated, often elated and happy but helpless in controlling its intensity. Why do I allow this to happen? It is most illogical. I don't like it. I really don't. Why can't I just paint? I can be technical and logical. In fact I am technical and logical as I was today, being on-call while I painted in between.

I like being connected but I also like being disconnected, isolated, alone and free.

The babies are done. I am happy to go to work tomorrow. I will be writing logic rule modules, back to my black and white world where things are either this or that and not maybe, where one means yes and zero means no, where the ifs and whens lead to this and that or this or that , and where the statement "I am not sure" or "I don't know" won't cut it. Where I have project deadlines and project tasks one on top of the other.

My daughter asked me this evening what I do at work. "Exactly, what do you do Mom?" I beamed with pride thinking she was interested in what I do. "Exactly I write rules, clinical rules, modules, algorithms." "What does that mean? you just sit there and write rules?" "Well, sometimes I get up and walk to the bathroom." "What do you do Mom?" "I write programs for patient safety, patient care and prevention of adverse drug events." "What do they do?" "They save lives by alerting the doctors, nurses and clinicians about the patient's condition when they enter orders or give medications or perform other tasks that may harm the patient if they were not alerted..." "Okay, I get it. What is your title... how much do you make?" "Whu, whaa..." "It's for my homework Mom!" "Oh!"

I am back to zero.

The Secret Ingredients of Mud Pies II

Work in progress... The Ivory Babies, part of the Fiesta Sisters Series
30"x40" oil on Gallery stretched canvas

Showers. I love showers. I take so many of them. By the time I emerge from the shower, I am red as a lobster. This morning was no different but first, I woke up at eight in the morning today. *GASP* Eight in the morning! Why that's a record. Indeed I do sleep. However, I lingered in bed, read the news, very quickly and then did what I love to do. Listen to music. Today I listened to Pink Floyd's Animals. I was listening to Dogs, Pigs and by the time I was at Sheep, The Viking came in. I had the lyrics on the laptop screen and The Viking read them on his desktop. We followed the music while reading the lyrics. I have a new found admiration for Pink Floyd. I never listened to Animals before, the songs are extremely long, 13 minutes, 9 minutes, so on. The past two days I have been listening to Animals repeatedly. The emotions it stirs within me is a contrast to what I feel while painting the Ivory Babies. So I listen to the music which reminds me of the jerks I have known in my life while painting something full of love and devotion. The Ivory Babies is a part of The Fiesta Series which I continued from Scarlet. So, as far as the Animals album, The Viking pulled out his Pink Floyd book from under the stack of books beside his desk. He has a book on Pink Floyd and Animals was based on George Orwell's book. We had an early morning analytical discourse on George Orwell and Pink Floyd's Animals album.

Back to my introspective shower. I composed an entire essay under the constant flow of scalding water. Sometimes it gets too hot I actually writhe in pain but it relieves all tension in my neck and back. I went to see the Ivory babies and spent the rest of the morning with them and the early afternoon.

I painted in the middle of frenzied to and fro movements of my family, in and out of the front door and sometimes with one of their friends. But now I am alone in the stillness and quiet of nothingness except the rhythmic breathing of Daisy our beloved pet dog, asleep right next to me on the Ethan Allen love seat she has since claimed for her own. It is directly next to my easel so when I paint, Daisy is either watching me or I watch her sleep. Still sometimes she sits on the floor right next to my legs or under the table that holds my brushes, oils and solvents.

Mud pie kitchen

Thank goodness the sun is up. It is much brighter outside although I was only out at four in the morning to let Daisy out and not since the sun came out. I cherish being alone. Some days I brood, unduly maudlin in sentimentality. I don't know whether it is because I paint that I brood or I brood because I paint. Anyway, the babies, The Babies! I love The Babies! Epsilon II loves The Babies and has been sitting close to me as I painted them, gushing over how she loves their rosy cheeks and their eyes. It is such a personal painting. I painted it to commemorate and honor a bond so dear and important in my life. At this stage in my life I have eaten enough servings of mud pies. I stopped eating them for a while and even stopped making them. I don't offer them unwittingly and I cautiously accept them from others.

My messy mud pie maker corner

Mud pies are a touchy business. The best pies happen with a lot of mess. They come in all forms, yet the best pies are made with the last three ingredients I only offer and share with those willing to get as much mud and mess with the fun and consolation from making them with me. My mud pies are sprinkled with Love, Loyalty and Devotion. Bring your own polka dotted cup.

Gray

Pearl Grey's walls have overwhelmed my space and are dragging me down. The Ivory Babies are doing their best to lift me up, but they are no match for all that gray. Still I love the older baldie but I want SUNSHINE!

The weather is absolutely gray, cold and rainy for the entire week. I walked my buttocks off yesterday. After my walk I could not feel my face, my legs and buttocks. I actually touched my buttocks to see if I still had my pants on because I felt the wind blow through my body! It was actually refreshing to get indoors and get zapped by the heat.

The Ivory Babies is a part of the Fiesta Sisters Series. I know they are playing with mud pies and for the time being are impeccably clean. I will have to get them dirty soon, yes, muddy their finest silk... I can't seem to do it.

Epsilon II was watching me paint last night and exclaimed "Oh Mom! They are so beautiful! I love those babies!" Do you know how that comment made me feel? I appreciate all of your support, comments and praises but this is the first time I have made my daughter exclaim! Then she talked about collecting my paintings and displaying them in a museum, I smiled. However, she then said, "I will charge people to see your paintings, including M (Epsilon I)." I replied "Oh no! He is your brother, you should share with each other." but she retorted, "He will charge me if it was his. I'll give him a discount." I was resigned: "You can have all my paintings and my drawings, just don't make money from each other."

Dogs

The Secret Ingredients of Mud Pies

Mud Pie
Detail of 30"x40" painting in progress titled "Ivory's Mud Pies" still a part of Ces and Her Fiesta Dishes series.

Do you remember eating mud pies? Didn't they taste good? There you were a little girl, shoeless, looking so forlorn and lonely because you played alone and adults think that when a child plays alone, she is lonely which is not the case at all. Children who play alone are not lonely and sometimes they are not really alone. You made mud pies and pretty soon you had a feast of mud pies and what do you do? You invite your friends to the mud pie party and they all come and they are all nice and then you start eating "chomp, chomp, chomp..." and then you hear a voice. "Get inside! Where are your slippers? That is dirty! Wash your hands!..." (By the way, my Mother used to tell me I had big feet. I never really think i did but now looking at the photo, I did have big feet!)

Do you know why mud pies heal? Because of their secret ingredients. Mine had potent ingredients and for a long time I struggled to recreate my mud pies with my friends. They were satisfied with these ingredients: imagination, creativity, fun, laughter, freedom, joy, sharing and mirth. Alas they melted and dissolved., and with these mud pies some friends who have come and gone and a few who pretended to be. The ones who helped me bake with all the ingredients will remain until I die. After my friendship pantry was raided and destroyed, I struggled to find the last three ingredients. Recently I started baking them again. I am cautious but hopeful. And so I started to make another mud pie again. I have all the ingredients I need. If you want to know the last three ingredients you may have to wait. I struggled with these little tykes' eyes. It does not look like rocket science but I think another painter will understand. It took me six hours to just do the eyes and faces alone. They are part of a 30"x40" painting which may take a while.

Pearl Grey, Dedicated To My First Sister

Being born to wise parents and wise sisters and brothers does not guarantee one wisdom. I struggle with this. I am forever catching up.

Pearl Grey's Dream Sequence (This Morning)
30"x40" Oil on Gallery stretched canvas.

Pearl Grey (Last Night)

30"x40" Oil on Gallery stretched canvas.

Chartreuse and Scarlet can't hold up a carafe to their sister Pearl Grey when it comes to dreams. In fact it is believed Pearl Grey sleeps just to dream. Pearl Grey, Chartreuse and Scarlet are Fiesta dish colors. Perl Grey and Chartreuse are retired. Scarlet is still an active color.

The pictures I painted for Pearl Grey's background are real paintings. The nurse painting is one of two paintings I did from a study (Diablo de Uteri) I did many years ago (above left). The paintings like my life are interrelated, interconnected inside out, outside in, round and round.

Today is both a day of joy and poignant remembrances. Today my Father died ten years ago. He passed away on the day of his first child's birthday, my eldest sister. I used to miss him a lot and I cried for a couple of years when I remember him but I realized he lives in me and so I stopped crying and started celebrating. Thank you Tatay, for everything and for being my father. My eldest sister was very close to my parents when we were growing up. She grew up being a pseudo parent and if I have been disrespectful, defiant or unkind to any of my sisters or brothers all of whom were older except my younger sister, I cannot ever remember being so to my eldest sister. I looked up to her when I was a child, literally and figuratively. Hahaha! Seriously, I was smitten with her. She walked with grace with her head held up and she spoke English with a beautiful accent and diction.

I had a crush on my own sister. Hahahaha! She is also the only sister who gave me a lot of slack and always intervened on my behalf to save me from the dungeon, the gauntlet and the firing squad when every entreaty failed and I made everybody's lives miserable by my antics and bad behaviour. She explained to my Mother that "Ces is different, maybe we should experiment with her. She does not respond to traditional child rearing and cultural trends." BAM! I got a pass. Not really. (In the "Sisters" painting I depicted my sister wrapping her hand on me).What happened was the happiest of childhoods. I still got punished for misdeeds but my eldest sister gave me my first watercolor, charcoal, pastel, colored pencil sets and sketch and drawing pads and construction toys. She also let me shared her bedroom with her! Instead of sleeping in the girls' room, I slept in my eldest sister's room. She took me everywhere with her. She let me touch things. She will always be my favorite teacher, second to my mother, in fact my sister was my fifth grade teacher. The school had no choice because she was the special education teacher for the gifted and some people believed that I was just a little bit gifted. One Saturday, she took me to school with her. The school was closed but she needed to inspect the repainting job. The classroom had a massive solar system painting overhead. I picked up the brushes, of course! but it was wet so I shook it, just like a dummy, and the turpentine splattered all over my eyes. I screamed "I am blind! I am blind!" My sister knew just what to do. When we got home I was afraid she would tell our mother what happened and I was afraid Mother will be upset with my carelessness. She did not tell her. Wow! I decided I will love her forever and she can do no wrong by me. My sister is the kind of person who emphasizes abilities over disabilities, and believe in everyone's capacity to do their best.

After my grade school years, my sister went on to become a professor, author and authority in Special Education. She was a Fulbright scholar and professor in the U.S. and is an author of several books on Special Education. After she retired from her professorial job, she continues to teach and manage a school for disabled children.

Oh my, my sister is truly great and wonderful. She makes accomplishments , achievements and honors mere tasks. Why my brothers and sisters are I achieved academic success is because of her guidance and inspiration. Every friend of mine who I leave in my sister's company returns in awe not because she is wonderful and awesome in many ways but because she is very unassuming, humble, compassionate and extremely kind and gentle. I make it my prerogative to beam with pride., of course. This morning I received an email from her and she wrote

"Dear Ces, your blog is sooo good, I do not miss reading it. I think, no, I'm certain, I have a gifted sister. We have not seen you for a long time but your blog, with our pictures sometimes, makes distance less an enemy. Don't you sleep?"

Hah! There you go! I think so much of myself sometimes and my sister knows how to make everything real. My sisters are sometimes distraught that most of our family photos do not have my elder brother who studied at a university in another island or was always away for work. My eldest sister loves him very much. He is her favorite because they shared so much during their childhood including the Japanese occupation (he was a baby and she was a toddler). The first big painting I did, above, (36"x48" is a depiction of my mother, my eldest sister and brother). Here's a picture of our two brothers for you Inday.

Happy Birthday! I love you. You can ask for anything and have anything you want from me.