Blemished

Blemished. I never thought a blemished leaf would spark my interest, but there it is! All drawings were rendered with colored permanent pigment ink on 12"x9" Bristol Boards. I look at these drawings now, and I see great room for improvement.

There is something poignant about these leaves. I find myself comparing my life to their state. When once they were young leaf sprouts and then evergreen with lustre, they are now blemished, tattered and torn.

I frequently use trees in metaphor. The symbolism, so apt. If I were an oak, I would like to be a Shumard, handsome, straight, tall, fine lines in the trunk, very difficult to climb unlike the live oak; not the most utilitarian of oaks, like the turkey, shingle, black, white or cork oaks for example; blazing during its peak, yet relegated to geographical areas that do not allow it to display its full brilliance, in the cities, for example where it does its best to show its true color but is stifled by the heat. And so it does its best, provide a beautiful shade.

So true is my life compared to a tree. Deep roots that anchor me, my family, my parents, brothers and sisters; strong trunk, that helps me sustain the fury and make me evolve, My Viking. Then there are my branches which are my epsilons and more branches which shall remain with me until I fall down, my true friends that make my life richer and fuller. And then there are the leaves that beautify and fill me, they are my acquaintances that come and go with the seasons and then my acorns, hopefully, the work that I do that will go on and enrich others' lives.

Why am I talking about trees? A tree is a tree, right? Yet trees succumb to wear and tear, to rot and diseases. Soon trees fall. That is why, The Viking and I call a tree service to maintain the only tall tree we have on our yard. Heck, yes, we spend a lot of money getting it professionally trimmed in preparation for the hurricane season and when the branches touch our neighbors' roofs. Alas, I am not a tree!

I have decisions to make. For now, I want my blog friends to check out my gallery blog. It may be the only blog I will be updating for a while. I am the sort that lunges head on and intensely on any activity I do. I do not like to leave anything that has my name, open and unattended. I will still keep this blog, for posterity and update it now and then. But I want to keep it private. So if you want to continue reading this blog, please email me so I can send you an invitation, unless I already have your email address. I love this blog. It records some of the best things that happened in my life, especially on August 2008, when I started drawing leaves in pen and ink. I hope to make it public in the near future.

Meanwhile, I will dedicate my time to face the lousy doctor's report that I received in the mail yesterday. It is making me very angry at myself. I am also concerned. It is something that needs my attention. For a very long time, I led a very unbalanced life: too much work, too much art, too much of this and that, too much headaches, too much rushing and hurrying, too many deadlines, long work stretches, skipping routine doctor's visits, too much stress... you get my drift? I need to do some balancing act!