No Time For Tears

She grew up shy and protected; overshadowed by everyone bigger and louder. As a child she was quiet and gentle. She is the youngest of eight and the youngest to leave home by herself for college, to another island without family nearby. She was sixteen.

When we were growing up I protected her from kids like Junior, the bully. She had the biggest, brightest eyes and kids teased her and called her names like "owl." Then everyone wanted to have Chinese eyes. I did not understand why, perhaps because the Chinese merchants owned all the stores and had money. Kids can be cruel. Thank goodness our Mother instilled self confidence in us and everyday told us how beautiful each and everyone of us were and as a kid, I believed that! I appointed myself protector of my younger sister. I can't remember how many bullying boys I beat up and how many mean girls I engaged in verbal fencing. She and I loved to play house but instead of playing normal mothering roles, she wanted to be a storekeeper while I wanted to be a bus driver with our passenger style tricycle and I was also a money lender. I had stacks of newspaper money while she had an array of merchandise and "vegetables" which she obtained from Mother's garden.

At home she was very cheerful and happy, always singing. She grew up to be an introspective teenager but soon her independent and feisty demeanor started showing. While I got all attention and leadership roles, she got the academic honors.

When she graduated from the university, my parents were very happy because now everyone had a college degree and were independent. Not long, I left for the US, while she went to medical school. There she met a handsome fellow intern who had a beautiful singing voice and a gentle heart and a Gemini to boot! They had their residency together in the remote, northernmost province of Batanes.

After their residency and fellowship, they started their private practices. They got married. My brother in-law became a urologist. My sister opened a boutique, now she had a real store! They had two beautiful children. My sister decided to quit her medical practice and stay at home to take care of the children.

One day her husband had to leave for Hong Kong. He had a five AM flight. Exhausted everyone else went to bed while my brother in-law took a shower. At six AM my sister was awakened, and disappointed that she missed her husband's departure. In fact, he never left. He never got out of the bathroom. At thirty eight, my younger sister became a widow.

There comes a time when something happens to someone you love and you wish to take their place to spare them the agony and the sorrow. I still cry when I remember how young she was then and how very little the children were.

Last night, she told me how she was saddened when her daughter told her that she can't remember her father's voice. Thank goodness, they recorded him singing and so they all listened to his heartwarming song.

My sister specializes in infectious disease epidemiology. While chatting last night, she told me she can't type very well because she was only using one hand as she was getting a manicure. She was in our childhood home visiting our other sister. She was celebrating Memorial Day. She said because she works for a US company, she gets to celebrate both US and Philippine holidays to a total of fifty two holidays! She is a busy woman. She helps manage my sister's farm, flies out on Sunday, hops to another island on Wednesday, flies back on Friday to attend graduate school on Saturday, oh I forgot... she is finishing her PhD in Education so she can help manage our other sister's special education school. She is a generous soul, and like our mother has an altruistic spirit. Her children are now in college and studying pre-medicine.

She has been to all but two of the provinces in the Philippines, including remote islands only accessible by banca or boat. She has set foot in islands dotted by rebels and terrorists, I would never dream of visiting.

Well, she is the braver and the stronger one, after all.

I am so proud of her. I am so honored she is my sister and I love her very much.