12/23/09

Merry Christmas, My Dearest Friend Renee



Renee With Serenading Love Birds On Her Crown To Chase The Bats Away
Pigment ink on 9"x12" Bristol Board. The Love Birds: Marie S., Linda Cardina, Bella Sinclair, Ces, Deborah the Poet, Manon Doyle, Sarah, Silke Powers, Diana Evans, Allegra Smith. Arija, Tessa Edwards, Baino and Pam (Yoborobo). You may still join the Love Bird serenade. Please let me know.


Ces: Knock! Knock!
Renee: Who’s there?
Ces: Love.
Renee: Love who?
Ces: Love bird!
Renee: Oh it’s you!
Ces: Yes it’s me.
Renee: Honest to God Ces, you are a kook! You need a spanking.
Ces: Please, please spank me!
Renee: I see that I do not need to spank you because it will not be a punishment but a gift.
Ces: I have a gift for you. Here it is. I hope you like it.


Yesterday I had a very difficult day. It’s one of those days when I am confident that things will work and my testing goes smoothly. I made a change, a small change to a massive rule module that has been my life, my bread and butter for the past six months. It has over 1,600 lines. Some items are hard-coded and it is like searching for a needle in a haystack. I go through several eyeglasses switches, and eye lubricants to augment my prescribed ophthalmic emulsion. My eyes become very dry. I have abdominal pains from stress and anxiety and the hairs on the right side of my head have turned grey. Yesterday I came to work wearing two different shoes, black on the left and brown on the right. Seems like an awful situation. I am not complaining because I love my work. I am also not complaining because there is nothing to complain about. For starters, the flying objects in my stomach are butterflies, they are not bats.

My beloved friend Renee has bats. She is not well, she has great discomfort, yet unless she says so, you would never know. She has conditions. Aside from cancer, she has this condition characterized by great enthusiasm for life; the ability to give wise counsel, to listen, to make merry, to cuss, characterized by massive doses of honesty and the great capacity to love.

I am dedicating my rule module to Renee. I am dedicating my Christmas celebration to Renee. I am dedicating this drawing to Renee. Look very closely my dearest sisterfriend. Each miniature squiggle was borne with a prayer of hope for your well-being and comfort; each line was borne with a prayer of thanks for the happiness and joy you give me; the shaded spaces were borne with a peace offering to drive the bats away.

I brought along my lovebird friends, perched on your crown. I do not want you to get sick from my singing so I brought along my friends so they can drown me out and together we sing a melody of love. Merry Christmas, my dearest friend.

12/15/09

Anomie


Anomie
Pigment ink and graphite pencil on 11"x14" Bristol Board.



Here’s a word for you: Anomie or Anomy - social instability and alienation caused by the erosion of norms and values. Just think about that.

I think I finished the drawing. This was a pleasant experience despite the fact that what I portrayed may stir some painful and negative emotions. Let me let you in on a secret. When I draw some things or paint some things that stir unpleasant sensations I have learned to use a crutch – my dearest Bella Sinclair's beloved pachyderms. I found out that Bella is not the only one who loves elephants – my dearest Arija and my dearest Deborah do too. Imagine those three wonderful women. What else can I ask? That perhaps all of my dearest friends love elephants. They are beautiful creatures - intelligent, fiercely loyal, protective, strong, and altruistic.

Ah! Wait! Wait! My dearest lovely sisterfriend Manon Doyle loves elephants and guess who else loves elephants? My beloved sisters! Yes! All of them but most especially my sister Leah, the smartest, brightest, kindest and gentlest of all.

This drawing, I have my own interpretation. You may have your own but please let me share this with you - sometimes we lose sight and get thrown off our core. We tend to dig deeper and push further, perhaps in the hope of tackling the issue, reclaiming our balance and stabilizing ourselves. I have learned it’s not always the best thing to do. Sometimes it is best to step away, walk away, and get detached. Step back farther, farther, look in the horizon, you may find what you lost or what you are searching. Calmly, quietly it’s there, peacefully waiting…