New Master Of This Domain
.
Attention! All of you! If you are looking for Ces, she is not here. I banished her to a remote island without computers, cellular phones, oil paints, pigment ink, Bristol boards, superfloss, shoe stores, mirrors, perfumes, pearl necklaces, matching shoes and purses and shirts with matching Fiesta coffee mugs and all other crap that she considered necessary in life. Worst of all it is an island without trees, books and toilet paper. Bwahh hahhaha!.
.
You will not find her until my demands are duly met:
1. I want to know the birthday anniversary of that illustrator of adorable little children with dotted eyes and little feet.
2. I want that skinny Bjornik to draw himself without the cake suit.
3. I want that Linda In The Hood to show me a picture of her painting a with her finger.
4. I want that Renee Lover, Loving, Love to make sure all my demands are met and deliver them to me.
.
Otherwise, there won't be a Ces. Instead you will have me! You thought Ces was mean and ugly, you have not seen nothin' yet baby!
Signed,
Bata Batuta
UPDATE:
10:14PM
Since none of you are taking me seriously. Here is your heroine. I even forced her to a wear polka dotted paper dress.
Bata Batuta
you look like a magician .
ReplyDeleteBuckram and Bembo, who are you calling a magician? I am not Ces, I am Bata Batuta
ReplyDeleteOH NO PLEASE DON'T HURT HER ...PLEASE PLEASE I BEG OF YOU... DON'T HURT MY CES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAH WAAAH(scared sobbing) i will have it for u next week... .. ah ah i i i mean first think tomorrow. just pllleeease don't hurt my pretty little gemini..
ReplyDeleteOMG, OH OH OHhhh! I just sprayed out my coffeeeeeee!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBata Butt, the Ces I know would find beauty in a single grain of sand and would NEVER stand to be repressed by the likes of you. NEVER! She'd never respect me for giving in to such terrorist demands.
Linda, dearest, you DO know which finger to use in your painting, don't you?
ReplyDeletehahahhah darn bella! your to quick..
ReplyDeleteLinda - No crying. You cry again. I will raise your ransom to Photo of Linda painting with her finger while eating a banana.
ReplyDeleteBella Donna Sinclair, I am Bata Batuta, not Bata Butt. Misspell my name again and I will bind the feet of your adorable polka dotted little wooomen.
She thinks she is quick, that is exactly what I wanted, no stinking ring finger.
okay okay okay...not not crying not crying. no banananananaas no BANANANANAS.
ReplyDeleteOOOH RATA TATUEWI....I CAN ONLY PAINT WITH THE RRIINNG FINGER... JUST PLEASE PLEAS NO BANANANA
ReplyDeleteNo, Linda! NOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteI read that somewhere, they will be piping Barry Manilow music in malls to keep hoodlum teens from loitering there.
So everyone, quickly, join hands and start singing....
I LOVE YOUUUUUUU
YOU LOVE MEEEEEE
WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS AS FRIENDS SHOULD BEEEEEEE.....
OKAY O O KAY
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOU
YOU LOVE ME
WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS
LIKE FRIENDS SHOLD BE..
WITH A KNICK-KNACK PADDYWACK....
ReplyDeleteThe sound of my singing alone should make your ears bleed.
You cannot possibly contain the fury that is Ces! She is too much woman for you.
Aack! Who is singing with that gawd awful voice? It's like a fingernail scratching the blackboard!
ReplyDeleteLinda, that finger and then a banana while puffing on a cigar!
Bella Sinclair, If you did not come here to pay the ransom, aaach!STOP SINGING!
KUMBAYA MY LORD...KUMBAYA
ReplyDeleteBella and Linda sssh! Do you have your ransom payment?
ReplyDeleteKUMBAYA MY ASS!
ReplyDeleteOh my God, I am laughing my head off. har har har
ReplyDeleteWhy do I have the impossible task. I need Ces freed Bata Batuta. Give her back.
Mind you I must say that I think you are hot with your goatie. Are you seeing anybody currently? Do you like big women? If you do, I could trade myself for Ces.
We need Ces you see. She helps make the universe a better place to live in. She has a family who loves her and friends in the very people you want to blackmail.
We need her.
And to tell you a little secret about Ces -- she won't stand for any of your bullshit. She didn't give in to the girls at her school and she certainly will not give into you (unless it is in the sexual department).
Ces is actually a brainiac too and I don't think you will want to cross her.
GIVE HER UP YOU STUPID FUCK HEAD...
Please don't hurt her, I just had a hotflash.
Love Renee xoxoxo
"Bella please pay the ransom" (signed) Ces
ReplyDeleteLinda! Bata Booboo wants you to paint a picture of a banananana smoking a cigar while giving her the finger.
ReplyDeleteOH MANDY. YOU CAME AND YOU GAVE WITHOUT TAKING....
ALL RIGHT, RENEEEE! You're gonna get a whoopin' now, Bata!
ReplyDeleteExkayuse moi! Madame Rene. I heard it was your birthday yesterday and I heard that a lot of people love you and I also heard something else you don't know about that's coming to a theater near you. I know something you don't know. Okay, I will trade but first I want that birthdate and photo and if that skinny cake eater ever comes here, I want his birthday suit picture minus the cake.
ReplyDeleteThat Bella Bella Banana Rama's voice is like an overbarbecued bratwurst on a stale bun. WQuiet!
ReplyDeleteAre you dyslexic? I want a photo of Linda painting with her finger while puffing on a cigar in her mouth and holding a banana on the other hand. What kind of a genius with an IQ of 142 is that Bella Banana Bam Bam Barnie?
oooh bella ..i thought battabing wanted me to paint a picture of bjornik use his banana to paint a cigar with his finger..... i'm so scared and confused. but u can only push with hot head italian so far....
ReplyDeleteMUSKRAT LOOOOOVE ......
Wehp! weyp! waaaaiiiit! Coming frough, ekshyush me.. Oh shorry, you've got ayshing on your elvow. Water flish..
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to consume everthing here by myself. Renee's friends were so disgusted to take a slice from me. I will have to get myself out this suit so that I could properly draw. How about you and your crew help me finish this one Batuta?
Darn, where is Jack Bauer when you need him?!
Renee's friends have no clue. They can't rcognize a tasty cake if they saw one. I love your accent. Now draw!
ReplyDeleteNow Linda sings an aria!
ReplyDeleteOOO OO KAY BATA BATA SSHAWING!!!! BATA BATA
ReplyDeleteBELLA WHERE THE HELL ARE U?
ReplyDeleteJack Bauer's got nothin' on IQ180 Ces aka MacGyver!
ReplyDeleteI happen to know for a FACT that Batarama-ding-dong is sleeeeeeeepy and tired.
Shhhhhhh....rockabye baby on the tree tops....
BELLA IT'S ABOUT TIME U GET BACK HERE! QUICK HELP BJORNIK.. HE CAN'T EAT THAT ALL HIMSELF...HURRY HELP HIM!!
ReplyDeleteUmmm, okayyyy.... Now I love cake, but this one's about a week old. And it's been traveling. Where shall I start, hmmmmmm?
ReplyDeleteOMG you are hysterical!! Horribly scary hysterical, of course!
ReplyDelete:^O Please - everyone meet the demands and set Ces freeeeee
Since no one is taking me seriously, I have given you an update status of Ces. See for yourself. She does not look very happy. No mirror, her lipstick is all over her face!
ReplyDeleteYeah, but she's still smilin'!
ReplyDeleteNo she is not. She is grimmacing. She said no one loves her. She said that the ransom isn't that much and no one wants to help her. She is losing her mind. She is babbling like a liberal Democrat. She wants everyone to have free universal manicure and pedicure.
ReplyDeleteAAAHK she looks fine...she's smiling...i don't know about u bella but i'm going to bed... she's fine..she is still wearing lipstick...
ReplyDeleteTHE MOMENT I WAKE UP
BEFORE I PUT ON MY MAKE UP
I'LL SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR U
and then i will paint with my BAD finger...
February 32. THERE, you happy, you Obama-loving maniac?
ReplyDeleteHaha funny, I've been playing with this: www.befunky.com and you've all completely lost the plot!
ReplyDeletewow! Ces looks totally TOTALLY different from what i imagined... hmmm
ReplyDeletebeautiful woman
Give her up you stupid bastard.
ReplyDeleteI have that actor that use to play Get Smart on the case. You won't get away with this.
I saw your update and if you rip that paper dress you are going to really really really get it.
xoxoxo
the xoxoox are for Ces
Bata Batuta my darling friend Karin is here now and she wants Ces released. She is brilliant and full of magic so you should hand her over without a fight.
ReplyDeleteBella, Linda, Bjornik all know Karin too and know that you Bata Batuta should be scared off. If we have to get her to join us you are going to be one dead MF.
Could you please put Ces on the blog post so that we know she is alright.
Love Renee (you are hot).
xoxox
I would appreciate that you do not call my friend a crazy loon.
ReplyDeleteLook how beautiful she is in the picture, do not put one mark on her, do you hear me?
You can raise your voice but that won't work with me, as a matter of fact it has the opposite affect.
The sexual inuendos are not empty promises, I am willing to come forward.
xoox
Ces you're back. I know you would escape.
ReplyDeleteI seriously don't know why people don't want to give you what you want, but I can't be the strong arm. As you know I have a Picc in one arm and lymphodema in the other.
Okay those are my excuses for not giving in to your captor.
CES IS FREED. Yahoo.
You are absolutely without a doubt the most fun person I have had in my life in a dogs age. You are so full of life and mirth.
I love it.
Love Renee xoox
LOL! i thought she looked something like this :)
ReplyDeletehttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_g-9gOdtymzs/SbhTBckUuII/AAAAAAAAM9g/6ftoPs6qFQ8/s640/Woman.JPG
I HAVE THE STUFF...MEET ME AT MY BLOG IN 5 SECONDS!!!
ReplyDeletehahahahaha...too funny.
ReplyDelete'Could it be Magic, come, come on...'
ReplyDeleteBut I like Mary Bandilegs....
Come back Ces, all is forgiven. Will somebody please pay that ransom. I want the cake that's been round the bottom half.....
Bata you are so handsome and now I see that you speak French.
ReplyDeleteO la la.
Do you kiss in the french fashion too?
Well if you do, don't try it on Ces as she will bite your tongue off, she has the will of a lion.
Love Renee xoxo
Bata, mon cher. Ze eyepatch. Eeet turns me on.
ReplyDeleteHar har har
ReplyDeleteWell now you are speaking straight to my heart. If Ces needs to do something for me, well then you must release her immediately.
If you do, I may even rub your bobos....
Love Renee xoxox
well, i'm laughing because i don't understand a dang word of this, but even with your photos defaced, dear ces, you are a beauty!
ReplyDeleteWhat is this? Betamorphoses???
ReplyDeleteCes is freed.
ReplyDeleteCes my sister Shelly and I were laughing our heads off last night while talking on the phone about you and how you had the lipstick smeared all over your mouth from Bata.
Oh my God, we were laughing so hard.
Love you funny girl.
xoxo